Totally Out Of Time

Honestly, with 1 hour and 16 minutes left in my workday, I really don't have time for a post.  I worked very hard today on real WORK so I'm having a hard time squeezing in the time it requires for my new favorite hobby today.  I'm trying people, really I am!

I have some randomness that might be fun for you to look at for now but that's going to be about it.  I don't have time to be wordy.  I will write a post tomorrow and talk all about my uneventful weekend. 

Promise !!

<fingers crossed just in case I run out of time tomorrow too....>

Luckily, Uncle Darling has once again provided me with some wonderful material to entertain everyone with.  That is where these gems came from:

I bet somewhere on this planet, this has really happened to someone! 
I like that it's Garfield that is being asked to drive a suicide mission truck.  LOL!



Yeah, I know....I can not believe what I'm seeing right now!  I have tats so I know how bad they hurt! 
WHO THE HELL COULD SIT THROUGH THIS???

You might be wondering why Uncle Darling would send me a picture of someones tattooed penis but let me tell you....When I was a kid, I LOVED Puff the Magic Dragon!!  I watched it over and over...and of course, Uncle Darling was around for that time period so he knows that I used to be am obsessed with it.  This is just a whole other level of obsession.  More power to you, tattooed fella!

Well, let me tell the story behind this one!

I do hope you are having a purr-fect Monday (and Happy Halloween for that matter).  But, where this really came from to begin with was, Uncle Darling googled "Uncle Darling" and this is the first thing that came up.  WTF?!  Google, you are a very strange and weird fuck!  This is the best you could do?  A half naked kitty woman?  Alrighty then, moving right along!

Corn dogs ON pizza??

Okay, like I told Uncle Darling, I have seen some really disgusting things at the state fair:

Deep fried Oreos, deep fried Kool-Aid and the ever popular Krispy Kreme Donut Cheeseburger that Supa had this year just to name a few....BUT, a corn dog pizza?!  No fucking way!  Wouldn't the corn dogs get all soggy with pizza grease?  I'm confused...People really eat this shit? 

Please excuse me, <Gag, URG, Burp, GAG>  Okay, now that my stomach stopped flipping over and is done trying to turn itself inside out...I feel much better.  I sure as hell won't be eating that anytime soon!  YICK!!  (Makes for a great conversation starter though....)



THIS IS MY FAVORITE ONE FOR TODAY!!

I love this one!!  This is the same fucking face that I make when I tell Supa about the spider that he "should have been home to kill for me".  I hate them and they scare the living poo out of me!!  Poor kitty!  I just had to scroll up and look one more time!  <LMFAO!>  That face kills me!!

Uncle Darling, you never disappoint.  You are the best blogger side-kick ever.  Thanks again and keep the pictures coming! 

I already have a blog entry in my head, ready to roll out tomorrow.  I have gotten really smart and now when I have a bloggy idea, I email myself from my phone so that no idea gets left behind! 

Brace yourself, I'm getting smarter :)

Apple

Absolute Friday Randomness

I'll go ahead and let everyone know, today I'm feeling a little crazy.  It's Friday (SUPERFUCKINGYES!) and the phone is ringing off the damn hook here at work.  Everyone that works for the State is getting paid today since the 30th is on a Sunday and we are just slammed SO, I will do my best to bang out a decent entry.  You have been warned if it comes out quite insanely.  Just sayin'.

The first item on today's agenda is:

The Sex Bracelet:

A good while ago, I saw something about this on Dr. Phil or Oprah or some talk show.  They are little jelly bracelets that the girls (usually in middle school) wear.  There are all kinds of colors and the deal is that boys grab them and pop them off the girls wrists.  Depending on what color the bracelet is, the girl has to perform whatever that color stands for.  (Um, excuse the fuck out of me but what did you just say?!)  Stupid, crazy and hideous, yes, I agree.  Who the hell came up with this one?? 

These bracelets were banned from a middle school somewhere because the girls were actually doing what the boys were saying. 

So, when I heard about this on TV, of course I told Dazzle.  She looked at me like I was crazy and the subject was mostly forgotten. or so I thought


Yep, this is one of those seemingly harmless jelly braceletes that we were just talking about!  This picture was taken on my kitchen counter and that is my note that says "WHAT THE FUCK?".  (I actually attached the post it note so that I wouldn't lose it in my purse:)

Basically, Dazzle came home from school with that bracelet on and she wanted to know if it was one of those sex bracelets.  I told her it sure looked like one and I would need to take it to do further research.  (Cause you know I wasn't going to ever let her wear it out of the house again, right?!)  I asked her where she got it from and apparently it came from one of her girlfriends at school.  Thank God it didn't come from some middle school boy because if it had, I'd be in jail for killing him.  You. Gave. My. Daughter. What?!

I did some online research and google informed me that:

Black means:  To have sex in the missionary position

Um, so, yeah, Dazzle isn't having sex with anyone in any position!  Over my dead body!  But before I get into all of that...Here is what I told Dazzle:

"This bracelet is just a bracelet.  It only becomes an evil sex bracelet if you believe in what it supposedly means.  If you don't give it any power, it doesn't have any.  It's just an ordinary bracelet from a friend."  Please hold your round of applause, I'm really not Super Mom

She took this reasoning and ran with it.  I gave her the bracelet back and I haven't heard another word about it.  What do these girls think they're doing?  So, you mean to tell me that some girls at some middle school actually gave this object and those little shit boys any power?  Did someone really have sex or give a blow job because of a little round piece of plastic?  Sounds like their parents are NOT doing their jobs.  Jesus Christ, what is this world coming to??

***After that mini rant, I'm feeling much better about those little pieces of round plastic and the middle school boys that I don't have to kill today***

The second item on today's agenda is:

Commando:

This past Saturday night, Supa and I decided that since we had watched everything on our DVR, it was the perfect night to have movie night.  After considering all our choices (did I mention I collect DVD's and I have probably between 500 and 600 - that is not even including all that the TV itself has to offer by means of "on demand" movies, Netflix and Hulu Plus) we decided to watch Commando.  Yep, Commando from 1985 starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

Oh yeah baby!!  Everyone that collects movies needs to have this one.  It is fucking awesome!!



I mean, really?  Check out those guns!!  Trust, I'm not talking about the one that shoots.  Back in the day, Arnold was HOT!



Look at that huge arm knife!!

Did you know that the little girl that plays his daughter in the movie is Alyssa Milano?  Well, yes it sure is!!  Supa was pretty surprised.

I know you can't tell from this picture but hang on, I'm looking for a better one.



Now do you recognize her??  Pretty neat huh?

Anyhow, I really enjoyed my blast from the 80's feeling that I got while watching it and Supa loved it.  (Action, of course he would)  We had a fun time watching it together and I would highly recommend it to everyone. 

After we finished that gem, we decided to go for a double feature!!  We watched Eclipse with my boyfriend, Robert Pattinson in it and somehow.....I fell asleep!  Supa stayed alert for the entire second movie while I was snoring away!  How I fell asleep with a 55 inch Robert Pattinson in my livingroom is beyond me, but it happened. 

Needless to say, it was a great night for amazing movies at the Darling house!!

I guess I'm done for today.  I hope this weekend is full of awesomeness for everyone.  Hopefully I will have something interesting to report on Monday. 

Apple

I Love Fall!

Let's just start this off immediately with a :

**SIDE NOTE**

**If you've noticed a few changes to the page, you are just an OK observer.  The changes are pretty hard to miss if you're a frequent reader....get with the program!

--For no damn reason, I added fish to the top of the page.  I would have rather added butterfly's but that wasn't an option that I could find.  They are kind of fun though...You drag your mouse around and they swim towards it.  This could humor me for a few days or a few weeks.  I might change it tomorrow if I get bored with it.  Who knows. 

--For a HUGE damn reason, I added pictures of my favorite actor, Robert Pattinson, to the bottom right corner of my page.  I went back and forth about this decision.  I understand that not EVERYONE loves him and this could be considered as bullshit BUT (news flash) this is my blog and I'll do what I damn well please!  So, if you hate Robert Pattinson You're definitely going to hell and also have very poor taste and judgement, seeing a shrink is suggested at this point try to stay away from the bottom right corner of my page.  It's there right now and I don't know if or when I will ever remove it.  Damn, Apple, you are a bitch!!

**Official end of SIDE NOTE**

And now, back to the real matter at hand:

Like I was saying, I love fall!  I love the weather, the smells, the activities that go along with it, and did I say weather?  It is fucking beautiful outside lately!! 

This past Sunday, in the middle of all the bullshit and fighting, we did manage to pull off some fall family time.  Don't ask how because I'm not really sure....but we did.  Dazzle took some pictures for me too so I thought I would share them.

This is the pumpkin that we all picked out on Saturday.  Dazzle (our resident artist) drew Jack's face for us.

(Well, it looks like someone was screwing around with my camera because it sure as hell wasn't 01/01/2008 last Sunday.  WTF?!)



This is the "before" picture of the three little pumpkins that we decided would be fun to paint.



Alrighty, well, this is like one of those things from Sesame Street.  <singing:  Which one of these pictures is not like the others...Which one of these pictures doesn't belong??>



I decided we needed something tasty to go with the fall activities, (because when do you NOT need something tasty right?!) so I made Grama Darling's Miracle Whip cake, HOLY MOISTNESS!

Dazzle went a little nuts with the camera privileges but I thought this was a cool picture.  This is the glaze that I was making to go on top of the cake.



AND, the completed cake with glaze on top.  Oh, my, it was so good!!



Back to the pumpkin.....

This is the finished, carved product.  Good job Dazzle and Supa!!

Dazzle drew our Jack with fangs...and as you can see, they all made it, except for one!  Not sure how Supa managed to cut that one fang off but I know he did his best.  LOL

Moved him on over to the fireplace....

Yeah, I finally realized the date stamp was screwed up and I took care of that!

And, promptly lit his face on fire!  I love him!

A little while later, we painted our three little pumpkins.  Can you guess who painted which pumpkin?



A little closer inspection.....



The other side of the same pumpkin...One boy side, one girl side :)



A multi-colored rainbow pumpkin!



And last but not least, a very scary zombie pumpkin!  I bet you all know who painted this one!  :)



So, in case you hadn't already figured it out, the zombie pumpkin of course if Neon's.  The rainbow pumpkin is Dazzle's and the boy/girl pumpkin is mine.  I know, why is it a girl and a boy??  Because I couldn't decide damnit so now we have a double-sexed pumpkin!  Nothing wrong with that, I say!!

I'm cutting this short today.  I have real WORK to do.  LOL  Have a great Thursday!!!

Apple

Sometimes, Uncles Are Better!!

You know, I never met my birth father.  This is a super long life story that I'll save to tell some other time, in parts.  BUT, in my case, I wasn't one of those kids that grew up with a huge "hole" in my heart.  I had so many people that loved me so much fill that potential hole that the hole didn't even have a chance to form!  My family members opened a whole case of whoop ass on that hole!!  God, I love them for it.  It made me the strong person that I am today.

My Grampa is just like my Dad.  I sure do think of him as my Dad.  But, I'm getting off subject here....This post isn't about Grampa Darling....It's about UNCLE DARLING!  Yep, I've talked about him before but not at great length.....Well, this isn't going to be too long but let me just say:

He is the third child from my Grandparents four children and he lived with us when I was a kid. (until he went off, fell in love and got married! - boo hiss!!  jk!)  He was kind of like a much older, oh boy, he's going to beat me brother to me.  I want to say he was like a father to me but nah, he was too busy playing around with me, spoiling me rotten and getting me into trouble!  So, in that case, more like a big brother. 

I have a whole bunch of happy childhood memories that include him.  He took me shopping, to the park, definitely had a huge hand in teaching me to have a great love for music, took me to Donut Land (which I totally believed that we were going to a real "land" that was made of Donuts....Wow, what an imagination I had!), to K-Mart where he OWNED worked in the electronics department, and anywhere else he could smuggle me to.  I loved hanging out with him!  At Christmas time, he always could get the newest toys that I really wanted and he made me feel really important. 

LONG story short...I love this guy!  He's not really big on affection...In fact, I think he hates it.  But he wasn't always like that...I remember him hugging and kissing me all the time!  Since, I have no idea what made him the way that he is, I don't judge him.  I just know he loves me!  I could go on and on about him...But I'm going to stop here.  I have been wanting to blog about my whole childhood and teenager life but I haven't been ready to go that deep yet...This is just the very tip of the iceberg.  SO, stay tuned.  When I run out of smart ass things to say (as I did yesterday) things will get a little more serious.  BUT FOR NOW:

Let us pay tribute to my very funny (ungay) uncle.....Uncle Darling, you kick ass!!  You send me ideas that end up sparking other ideas and you have almost the same sense of humor that I do.  (Wait, I thought you people told me I was adopted???  Har har, as if you guys could ever deny this face!!) 

Here are a few new things from Uncle Darling that I have just been itching like crazy to share:

Okay, so apparently Uncle Darling googled "Belly Button Fuzz" (because that is something I google all the time for fun!!) and this is what he got:

IF you google that...You will get:  Bear Belly Vortex.

OMFG!  That is NOT what I was expecting!  HOLY HAIRY, BATMAN!!!  Can I make just one suggestion??!!  WAX PEOPLE!  WAX!  It only hurts for a second...Well, in this case, maybe it will hurt for a few fucking hours! 

Moving right along from that.....

Just letting you know before you come on in and step in it and then you want to kick my ass.....Just sayin'.

This seems like it could be a tribute to my diarrhea shitter named Odie that totally defaced my carpet a few weeks ago. (see past blog entry for that lovely story!)  Unfortunately, this photo came to me AFTER that shitty post. 

PS:  Uncle Darling has 9 dogs at the moment that he fosters SO, he's big on the dog shit jokes ;)



Okay, I've seen this one before but I still had to include it.  Let's spend a moment dissecting this:

First of all, for all you out there that doesn't have on their smart cap today...This is a possum.  DUH!?  I do think that some idiot really thought it was a cat and they were trying to do their good deed for the day by putting up posters. BUT, let's face it, some people are just not as smart as others.  It is what it is. 

Secondly, is it a Fe or a Male?  OH OH, I understand, it's a Fe-male!  OH!  Now that we've cleared that one up. 

Fuck.  For all that is holy.  Someone e-du-micate this person!

Scared??  You think the little kitty is scared?  Well, YOU should be scared if that damn, ugly thing is in your house.  Talk about shitting in the hallway, I'm sure now, you have cat possum shit everywhere!!

I could go on and on about this one but I'll just move on now....


Really?  Just because I didn't give birth to you doesn't mean a damn thing. 

I will still knock your cute, fuzzy, adopted ass off of that table!  YOU STUCK UP CAT!  You mess with me and I'll start calling you a possum!  (Haha!!  Love it, Uncle Darling!!)



This one isn't supposed to be funny.....I still had to post it. 

When Supa and I first started dating and we talked on the phone often, he would always make me hang up first.  :)  This sweet puppy reminded me of that and I love it!  Remember, I love you more so YOU hang up first!  Heehee!  


YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW!!!  THESE REALLY EXIST!?!

This is ALL that is needed for this one:  Uncle Darling, where did YOU get these sheets??  I just know you have them!!  I know as soon as Supa sets his eyes on them, he'll have them on his Christmas wish list and I highly doubt Santa will hand deliver these bad boys!



And this is why Uncle Darling cannot be trusted around Dazzle or Neon for too long of a time period.  He SUGGESTS things like this.  In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he designed this one himself!

I even know some grown people that take this rule and abuse the hell out of it.  Piss me off and see how much fun you have.  Grrr!!  I'm not very fun when I get pissed off. 

And the latest one that I received today was.........

YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE RIGHT, UNCLE DARLING!!

I know quite a few retards and they do not have any type of mental disability either so what the fuck is their excuse?!  Cute little retarded owls....  tee hee!

Basically, that is all folks!  Once again, all of those ideas were sent to me by Uncle Darling. I give credit where credit is due and deserved.  

Uncle Darling, I just want to thank you again for sending them to me and for being a dedicated reader to this bullshit I write.....That's one of the reasons I write it!   I'm sure that you can't believe that I used them all up on one post.  Ha!  Believe it!   They all kind of went together for me like peanut butter and jelly.  I'm also sure that you will be sending me many more suggestions and funnies in the future.  At least, I hope you continue to do so.

Lastly, I LOVE YOU Uncle Darling and.....

XXXOOOXXXOOOXXXOOOXXXOOO, if you like it or not!

Love,

Apple

Tuesday, Meh.....

Today is a better day.  No one is arguing or fighting.  The battle zone is now the happy home front it should be.  Doesn't it usually work that way?  You have something hugely wrong with you, you go to sleep for the night, wake up, and the new day looks so much better than the past one did.  I always wish that I could get those lost, fucked up days back but.....I can't so MOVE FORWARD, Apple!

In the spirit of doing just that....A maybe, slightly, angry post (for fun) ensues.....

I'm on facebook several times a day.  Just reading status updates and checking out people's photos....Here lately, there have been a whole bunch of what I call "word pictures" posted and I think that I need to share.  I picked out some of my most favorite ones and in no particular order, here they are:

**DISCLAIMER**
If YOU personally posted one of these on your facebook page, yep, I stole it from you.  Tough shit.  You posted it and facebook is public.  ;)  Put on those big girl panties and get over it!  You'll be just fine!


I believe that this totally me.  110% me.  I have a whole ton of style, let me tell you.

Raise your hand (right now!!) if you know me personally and you know this to be true.  I am never out of things to say, I know exactly who I am, what I want and you know what I'm about to say......I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!  Amen, sista!! strike that because it's never a good thing to answer yourself! 


Okay, I remember who posted this because she's that awesome.  For the sake of this blog, we'll call her Super Bass.
(as in: Bitch, if you don't turn that bass down you're going to blow up your damn speakers!!!)
 I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH!!!!   In her own words.....Super Bass,  YOU ROCK!

Who the hell could not love this!! 

If we gathered up all the people that I've killed in my head over the years....well fuck, we wouldn't have anywhere to put them!  Basically, the entire state of SC (and some parts of NC) would be covered with dead bodies!!  That means that right now, I'm killing someone in my head

Muahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!  Arrest that, bitches!!!!

Wow, how I wish I could be just a teensy weensy bit more evil so I could leave a very short list of specific names of the people in my life that have ended up completely useless.  But I'm watching my mouth a little more lately so....
What losers....I'll just leave it at that. 

Again, another one I completely agree with.  Why are you wasting your time even being in my presence if you're just going to keep doing dumb hurtful shit over and over??!!  Get a life and get away from my polished behind!  I don't have time for you.

And last (for now) but never least:


Oh. My. God.  I almost choked on the reality of this.....This is so completely amazing!!

Wow, let's make this into a huge sticker and plaster it on a few choice people's foreheads.  It's not rocket science people.  I even want to give my own Mom one!  So many slackers....So little sticky paper to make life reminders for people.  <SIGH> 
Now that I've gotten that out of my system....(which was very fun and fulfilling mind you....)  I hope that everyone has a wonderful Tuesday.  Please try to keep in mind what you've learned here today.....Or someone might just end up killing you in their head and adding you to my huge pile.

;)

Apple

Not Feelin' It Today

This is not going to be a happy post or a funny post so if you're looking for that, go somewhere else. 

I'm tired of arguing with my husband.  I know, I know....I say really good things about him most of the time.  Those things are true.  He is a whole lot of great things.  He makes me really happy most of the time. 

BUT...... (I'm sure you saw that word coming)

When we argue, we really fucking argue.  I call it fighting.  We don't hit each other.  We never have and I know that Supa would never hit me but it's still fighting.  Words are weapons.  I believe that they do hurt and they do carry a whole lot of meaning.  I know I can hurt him with my words and I will stoop to that level if he hurts me first.  I'm nobody's verbal punching bag.   But I also understand that two wrongs don't make a right.  I've known that for a long time and I believe it.  I just can't stop my mouth from flying open sometimes when I know that I should keep it shut.  Sometimes he pisses me off so bad that I literally cannot shut up.  Supa also does not know when to shut up and he says the meanest, dumbest shit that I KNOW he doesn't mean and he always ends up apologizing for later.  What a waste of time!  If you know you're going to say you're sorry about it later, why even say it?!

It really doesn't matter what we are arguing about.  It could be something SO tiny to something rather serious.  Most of the time it is tiny.  In the past we have argued over some of the DUMBEST shit ever!  But regardless of the reason, we still get into a huge fight.  Totally blown out of preportion.  Something that could have been resolved so quickly and easily could potentially turn into a huge, knock down, drag out, verbal brawl.  This brawl could last for days.  A stand off of wills and pride.  Who will break first?  Well, usually he always breaks first but that doesn't mean that I'm always right because I'm not always right and I know it!  Yep, I don't mind admitting it.  Who is right or wrong is not the issue, it's how we handle disagreeing that is the issue. 

If it was just Supa and I, I wouldn't give a damn.  I would tell him to shut his damn mouth, fuck off, get over it and we'd calm down and be fine.  But it's not just us.  I have Dazzle and Neon to worry about and let me tell you, there is nothing on this planet more important to me than my children.  I would die for them in a heartbeat.  Like, throw myself in front of a moving truck, make deals with the devil, jump in front of a bullet kind of love.  WITHOUT HESITATION WHAT SO EVER.  Therefore, since I KNOW this arguing shit is effecting them, I can't take it any longer.  NO matter what they tell me (because I know they just want me and everyone else to be happy) I can see the sadness, frustration, worry, pain and suffering in their eyes.  They are always happy, until we argue and fight.  They are the best kids on the planet and they deserve better than us. 

**PAUSE*********************************************************** 
I'm not usually an emotional person but fuck this is hard to say
**********************************************************************
Now, on the other hand....I love Supa so much that he could say just about anything and I would not leave him.  I can give you a list of deal breakers that will end up in divorce but yelling at me and being an asshole while arguing isn't on that list.  I took my wedding vows before God and I believe in them.  I take them very seriously.  My plan is to be married once to my soulmate.  I found my soulmate, now I just need to figure out how to keep it together.  

I can be a complete bitch and I'm not exactly easy to handle.  I get that.  I know how I am and by now Supa should too.  But I try.  I really do.  I know I'm controlling but I do it out of the kindness of my heart.  I only want what is best for us.  I do the things I do out of love, not evil.  Maybe he thinks I care too much but damn, if you don't care, who is going to?  I have had plenty of "friends" that say they love and care about us but they really didn't.  So, I don't trust anyone and I try my best to do everything for us myself.  I understand that I'm overbearing sometimes too but wouldn't he hate it if I didn't give a damn at all?  I think sometimes I overhandle stuff.  I don't know how to turn that off.  I just do what I think I need to do and I do it happily for the most part.  Overall, I think it's basically my mouth (and his too!) that gets us into trouble.

I have asked Dazzle and Neon (they are not babies anymore, even though I often wish they were) what they would rather have:

MARRIED:  together as a family with arguing and fighting OR

DIVORCED:  still spending time with each parent, minus the arguing and fighting

They both said, MARRIED.  They both said they don't care how much arguing and fighting they have to listen to and put up with, as long as we stay together, as a family and don't have to deal with divorce, they don't care.  The good outweighs the bad for them. 

That doesn't exactly sit well with me.  They shouldn't have to just settle for what they can get.  They should have HAPPY, fun, comfortable and confident in our home with us!    ALL THE TIME!  Or most of the time at least.  They are too awesome to be dealing with our bullshit!

I'm not asking for perfection.  Truely, I'm not.  I am the farthest thing you will ever get from perfect but damn.....Something has got to give.  I want to be happy!  MOST of the time.  Like I said before, everything in my life is pretty perfect right now.  Aside from being very far away from my family, I'm ok.  I want to protect my children from everything, even from us and that is the hardest thing yet.  I don't want any of our negative, adult bullshit to affect them in a bad way. 

I usually only write posts that are funny or just blah blah about what is going on lately.  I don't usually write about the bad stuff in life because who wants to hear about that right??  I did decide that I should share the bad stuff along with the good stuff because I'm no angel.  Bad things happen to good people all the time.  I think that the more we talk about it, the better we will feel and we can help other people.  SO, hopefully, someone that feels exactly the same way I do, in the exact same situation, will read this and know that they are not alone and everyone has issues.  I have a hard time believing sometimes that we are not alone.  That we are not the only ones that fight and argue.  Sometimes I feel very alone and it makes me very sad so.....hopefully, this will help me and others too.  

I called our insurance company at work today to find out if marriage counseling was covered under our insurance plan, and it is.  I am working on finding a shrink for us to go see today and making an appointment this week.  Life is too short to argue about BULLSHIT. 

(Thank you, Red, for talking to me about things that I don't want to talk about and helping me decide what to do about it.  Thank you for also letting me know that this is nothing to be embarrassed or nervous about and for reminding me that I'm not the only person that needs marriage counseling.  AND that if a whole bunch of other people would seek out help, they would be a whole lot happier.  I wouldn't have even started researching it if it wasn't for you and your gentle push)

On a closing note:


Supa, this one is for you!  (Thank you Uncle Darling!)

If you thought I was going to end this entry without one single chuckle, you were WRONG!  I might be a sad, verbally abused (and abusive) bitch but I still have a sense of humor.

Apple

Fun At The SC State Fair!

Hello, friends!! (or frenemies, whichever category you fall under)

Honestly, I'm not complaining.   But now that I know what "Thirsty Thursday" is, hell, let's celebrate!! 
Thanks once again, Uncle Darling!  What a sweet puppy face!

I'm not complaining that it's ONLY Thursday because I was OFF yesterday!!  WOO HOO!!  I was very happy to be off in the middle of the week but I didn't like it too much when I woke up this morning feeling like it was Monday all over again!  BLEH!!  That's OK because I was off yesterday, so was Supa and we kept both Dazzle and Neon home so we could go to the fair!  FUN FUN !!  I was supposed to take tons of pictures for Grampa Darling to look at and I was going to take a picture of all the food that we ate for my blog BUT I forgot my damn camera!!  WHAT THE HELL?!  How did I do that?!  I wrote myself several notes to remind myself and I STILL forgot it!  FUCK! 

So, after I kicked myself in the ass repeatedly, I picked myself up and I used the camera on my phone.  Not the greatest quality camera by a long shot but it would have to do.  Shit. 


This is the one and only picture of the sand sculpture that I got.  I swear, they have done some pretty huge and amazing sand sculptures over the years but this one SUCKED.  I was SO not impressed.  Look how teeny tiny it is!





Here is where I was sitting, waiting for Supa to bring me a plate of Chinese food.  I really asked for an egg roll but he just had to get the whole damn plate.  :) 



Here is what Supa brought back from the Chinese place above, minus the egg roll and tempura that was eaten before I could whip my phone out.  It was pretty tasty.  I've had better egg rolls but that chicken on a stick was BANGIN'!      $8.00 per plate.



The huge slice of pizza that Neon had.  DAMNIT!  Again, I forgot to take my picture until right before he had eaten almost all of it!  Oh, wells!  I tried my best!  Let's just say this slice was double cheese and it was about as big as his head.  $4.00/slice - one of the cheaper things



The bucket-O-fries that we got to share.  Very greasy and very good.  Where is the ketchup?? 
$5.00 for the large size



The ice cream that I had.  It was big and chocolate dipped but like all the other photos, I forgot to take the pic until I had eaten most of it.  Heehee, I give up. 
$4.00 for the large size

**Cute little side story about the ice cream**  We get hand dipped ice cream cones from the same vendor each year.  This year, I noticed that it was a very elderly man running the booth that was sitting and collecting the money with two young adults that appeared to be his grandchildren making the ice cream cones.  The elderly man was TOO cute and the young adults really were sweet.  The young lady dipped my cone and when she did, the whole damn thing fell into the chocolate!  The elderly man scooped it up into a cup and told the young man to give it to us for free!  You don't see a whole lot of kindness at the fair where everything costs an arm and a leg so I made sure to lean into the booth extra far to tell the elderly man personally that I really appreciated it and that he was too sweet!  He gave me a big smile and my 3 favorite people got to share some free ice cream :)  True story!  

This is the donut cheeseburger that Supa just had to have.  $8.00  WHAT?!  Okay, totally not worth it.  I tasted it and unless you like a little desert with your burger, not that great.  I'll pass next time and every time after that.  Yuck.  Talk about a heart attack waiting to happen.

So, let's see if I got everything.  I'm sure I missed plenty.  

Neon had the pizza ($4.00)

Dazzle and I shared a slightly larger than normal sized corn dog ($4.00)

Dazzle and I also shared a small gyro add extra sauce and extra feta ($11.00 - yeah, I know, holy shit but it was SOOOOO good!!)

Supa had the fried mushrooms ($8.00)

I had the ice cream cone ($4.00)

We had one funnel cake with powdered sugar that we all shared ($5.00)

The Chinese plate ($8.00)

The ever popular Krispie Kreme donut burger ($8.00)

fries ($5.00)

AND.......

What did we drink all day you ask?

Well, they had an Icee stand and anyone that knows me knows that I LOVE Icees with a passion SO of course Supa thinks he has to buy me an Icee thank God.  So, we go on over there to see what the deal is and they actually had a deal that wasn't half bad.  If you bought the $9.00 souvenir cup (that lit up and was really cool hehe) you got to get Icee refills for $3.00!!  We'll take one please and 5 refills while we are there for the day!  That's the only drink we had to purchase all day long and it was Icee instead of soda or tea!!  YUMMMMMM!!! 

So, we also spent a total of $21.00 on Icees for the whole day for 4 people.  Not too shabby.  We had one of each flavor, cherry, coke, blue raspberry and two that were mixed coke and cherry together!  OH my favorite!!



The only other money we spent the entire day was on two rabbits feet that the kids really wanted.  Each for $2.00.  That brings us to a grand total of.............

$82.00!!  On food and two rabbits feet.  Oh wow.  Don't forget the $20.00 I paid for all of us to get in and the 2- $20.00 Pay One Price - Ride All Day tickets for the kids to do just that.  You pay $20.00 (each kid) so they can get a bracelet and ride all day long as much as they want and they can ride whatever they want.  Not a bad deal if they ride everything twice which Dazzle and Neon did so....Super grand total on a day at the fair for an average 4 person family.......

<Insert drum roll please>

$142.00  The only thing that was free was the ice cream that got dipped incorrectly (thank you elderly man) and the parking.  (And don't forget the awesome company and good times:)

I can deal with that price.  As long as it's only ONCE a year ;)

We did other things besides eat.  I swear we did!  LMAO! 

We went to the petting zoo and pet all the animals and fed them!  ( I won't add in the cost of the pet food, since you probably realize that even THAT isn't free HA! )  The donkey was trying to eat Dazzle's jeans and the steer was trying to knock Neon on his ass (NO PUN INTENDED PEOPLE but GO ME for not even trying!)  but luckily we avoided all unnecessary drama.



Still very carefully keeping his identity hidden, Neon petting a baby cow.  :)  He tried turning and smiling for the picture but I said, "No!  Cover your face!  This is for my blog!".  He thinks I'm so silly! 



Goodbye Weekend, Hello Monday.....

So, it's 3:48 PM on Monday and I'm still alive.  It actually hasn't been that horrible of a day which is a complete surprise.  I asked Red if her day was less sucky than normal for a Monday and she said YES so it's not just me!  This Monday doesn't suck quite as bad as other Mondays!!  It's a fucking miracle, now I just wish I knew WHY so we can both have more Mondays like today! 

WHY is it that we are having a bobbing for apples kind of Monday today instead of the ever popular bobbing for razor sharp shards of glass type of Monday??

You know what??  Some times, there are WHY's in life that don't require an answer.  Let's just not give a fuck and try to enjoy this less than usually painful Monday.  Red, you with me?! 

Alrighty, now on to the subject at hand.  Well, today I don't really have one of those so we're just going to wing it.  ;) 

The weekend....Well, it was fabulous.  I did everything that I said I was going to do in my last post.  

Thank ya, Jesus!!

Jade and Nearly came over and kept me company since Supa was closing down his store.  We had a good time hanging out and talking our faces off.  Because that is what we do best right?!  I stayed up after they left and waited on Supa to get home.  I was super glad to finally get to see him and we had a good time talking until I passed out.  LOL

Saturday was finally here!!! 

Flea market: 

Done!  Hands held and treasures found.  I only actually found a few small things.  A couple of books for myself and a couple of books that I thought Jade would like.  Supa and I had a really nice time in the pretty weather just hanging out.  As I suspected, Dazzle and Neon stayed home to Halo themselves to death and if that's what makes them happy, well, then OK. 

Lunch: 

We just ended up grabbing something to eat at the mall.  Neon had Subway, Dazzle and Supa had some big, beautiful steak sandwiches with all kinds of slop on them, and I had a Stromboli.  You should have seen the grease dripping from that thing!  BAD, BAD, BAD but WONDERFUL! 

Shopping: (totally not planned, who is proud of me?!) 

Supa helped me find new shoes for work.  I have them on right now and I'm so in love with them!  He also helped me find a new hoodie because it's so cold at my desk that I wear a hoodie all day long. really fucking stylish I know  but I don't give a damn what anyone thinks, I just need to be comfortable!  I had a hoodie with my family name on it (one of my distant family members has an electric company and I actually stole the hoodie from my Mom) but it was literally falling apart so I had to retire it.  *SIGH*  I love my new hoodie and thank you SUPA! 

Then we decided it was time for Dazzle to MAN UP while we were at the mall and get her ears pierced for a second time.  The first time she had them done, she was only 3 months old so she had no idea what to expect.  She has been talking about doing it for quite a while now but she was scared.  I finally had her convinced that she could do it! $35.00 and a couple of teared up eyes later, Dazzle did it!  My sweet, brave daughter got her second ear piercing!!  YAY!  GO DAZZLE!  I'm so proud of you!!!  I held her hand and now she is so glad she did it!  She couldn't wait to go to school today and show those ears off!!! 


I'm going to show this photo to Dazzle and see if she's ready!  LOL, I'm sure she'll pee in her pants.  Even for me, this is too much!

After the mini shopping extravaganza, (all unplanned mind you) we did go look at treadmills.  We tested a couple of them and they were all amazing.  Some REALLY expensive and some perfectly affordable.  (to my great surprise)  I think I found the one I wanted and now I just have to save a little more so we can go get it!  I'm super excited!!!!  More to report on that soon......

We went home, rested a little bit, (that is code for:  I fell asleep on the couch while Supa cooked us dinner) and had a nice meal together.  After the kids went to bed, I spent some extra special alone time with Supa and then watched TV until we both passed out.  ;)   (I'm trying to behave today and lay off the TMI so you can decide with your own imagination what "extra special alone time" entails.) 

The last day of the weekend didn't end up being very exciting let me tell you.

I did laundry as planned.  I made brownie cupcakes, Grama Darling's recipe.  They turned out delicious.  Dazzle and Neon jumped on the trampoline for an ungodly length of time, it was beautiful out.  I laid on the couch and caught up on some of my shows and just rested in general.  Then I got cleaning fever right in the middle of the day and I started taking my frustrations out on the outside of the refrigerator!  What an unlikely place!  I took every single magnet and photo off of all 3 sides and scrubbed that bitch down!  It needed it and now it's all pretty and shiny still covered with magnets and photos again.  

I've been trying to help teach Dazzle to cook.  (This is a perfect example of the blind leading the FUCKING blind here because I don't cook)  I keep saying that I don't cook but I've become pretty resourceful since Supa is never home anymore.  I can even make canned biscuits without burning them!!  GO Apple!!  SO, I helped Dazzle make macaroni and cheese and hot dogs, we have to start simple.  She absolutely loves learning and I'm glad to spend the extra time with her.  She did a fine job and I'm excited to teach her to make other things.  Tonight we're going to attempt hamburger helper!!  Keep your fingers crossed for the both of us. 

I ended up at the dumpster with Jade after the sun had already went down.  I borrowed Dazzle and Neon's head lamps and I got into the dumpster in the dark and found us some coupons!  There isn't much I won't do for free money!!  We got what we needed and got the hell out of there.  By the time I got back home, Supa was finally home and before I knew it, it was time to get to bed!

Almost time to get the hell out of here and go home!!  4:58 PM!

Until next time folks!

Apple