Whatever

I'm not talking about my weekend today.  It pretty much sucked and I don't feel like discussing it. 

I'm not in a great mood today either but I need to get a good laugh in so I can try to turn this frown upside down......

Red sent me some really good funnies that I've been saving for a rainy day....I'm feeling like today is that day:

Sounds like my kind of week!!!  :)  Hoorah!!

Haha, don't piss a bitch off!!   LOVE IT!

Because who the hell doesn't like dogs??  LOSERS!

I'm so glad I'm not doing this anymore, in all seriousness.  When you take a step back and look at it, it's such a waste of money.  I can paint my own damn nails for free!



Haha!!  If you're on welfare and I see you with a iPhone, I promise to drop kick you in the neck, promptly.

I will say that last Thursday I went to part 2 of my root canal.  It sucked A LOT.  The shots were awful but after that, I didn't feel the root canal work.  It hurt something terrible when the Novocaine wore off and Friday, it was worse.  The whole right side of my face was throbbing.  After almost overdosing on Hydrocodone, Motrin 800 mg, and Tylenol, it felt better on Saturday afternoon.  I have one more appointment to go to and then the damn thing will be done (for now).  I have to go tomorrow and get the post put in and the filling done.  Then I will have to go back within a year and get the cap put on.  (I'm going to wait to do that until we get back from the beach at least but I do want to hurry up and get it over with so I don't have to worry about it anymore.)

Friday, between all the pain and complaining, I did manage to get my nails painted at my desk...

I like bold pink colors!  :)  Luckily, I could still paint my nails (as drugged up as I was).

I went and walked with Jade at some point over the weekend and I hope this sign scares away all the bad people so we don't get mugged while walking/running.  WTF?!



Yeah, that's going to make things a whole lot safer.  What is the point of these????  I just don't understand!?

The kids and I went to Walgreen's to look for a few things and I saw this:

Chalk, in the shape of food.  Weird!

I've never chalked on a sidewalk with a piece of cake or a donut...but maybe I should...Looks like a bunch of yummy fun!  LOLOL!!!  I've seen everything now. 


My tuna casserole

Neon will throw himself on the floor and BEG me to make my tuna casserole.  LOL, silly Neon!!  Usually I put bread crumbs on top but I ran out so last night when I made this for dinner, I substituted french fried onions for bread crumbs and it was GOOD!  Neon ate until he was about to burst and that's not like him so I know he enjoyed it a whole bunch! 

Time for me to get on autopilot and finish out this Monday.....

Apple

Tuesday, Only Slightly Better Than Monday.....

I'm just about as sleepy today as I was yesterday.  I didn't do much on Monday.  I sat at my desk, answering the phone on autopilot and watching The Bachelorette finale while trying to stay awake and not drool on my desk.  Since I am a little more awake, I decided it was time to spill the beans about what's been going on lately....

One day last week, Lolly, Jade and I went for a walk right before it looked like it was about to storm.  I REALLY wanted to go on our walk and didn't really care if I got wet so we decided to try and go.  We got about half way to Jade's house when it started raining pretty good.  We took shelter under some big trees and waited for Jade to come meet us.  We got poured on for a little while but other than that, it was pretty nice.  The rain sure cooled us off.  So, on our way back to my house, we saw a beautiful rainbow!


This picture SUCKS because of course I was taking it with my cell phone.  But if you look closely you can see it. 

It was really pretty in person!

Saturday Supa had to work all day.  The kids and I made plans with Red so we met her at her house that morning.  Her husband was home....

(After MANY hilarious suggestions thrown around by Red and I we finally came up with.....)

Buzz Lightyear I mean, when the initials work, they just work. 

I was really excited to get to know him better because of course Red talks about him all the time and I was hoping that he could become good friends with Supa.  He needs some high quality guys to hang out with and from what Red said, he sounded like Supa would get along with him great. 

**SIDE NOTE:

Under Red's great suggestion, we are changing her blogger name from Red Lady to Red Lightyear.  I mean, she is married to Buzz so it just makes all kinds of sense!  Haha!  I love it!

** END SIDE NOTE:

Come to find out, Buzz was awesome!  I had a feeling immediately that when Supa finally got to meet him, he was going to love him!

We also met Red and Buzz's dogs.  Dazzle still wants to be a vet so she is ALL about getting to play with dogs!


This is Maddi :) 

I think she's a little smaller than Odie and she is SO ugly that she's adorable!!!  She has the cutest ears and the softest fur!  Neon renamed her Yoda and we were all calling her Gizmo.  LOL.  SO sweet!!  She wasn't too happy with the kids very much but I got to hold her!  

This is Darby!  Oh, and Neon's beat up little boy legs.  LOL

Darby is so sweet!  She LOVES to be pet and kissed.  She is really good at giving you her belly to be rubbed ;)  She was so excited, I couldn't really get a great picture of her. 

After we visited with Buzz and pet the pups, it was time to get serious and go work out.

Red took the kids and I to a gym where she goes sometimes to work out.  Basically you go around the room (kind of like Curves) and do different activities for 9- 3 minute rounds.  It sounds easy because 3 minutes go by really fast so I wasn't expecting it to be too hard.  Ha! 

Dazzle took lots of pictures but the only one that was safe for viewing was this one:

The place where you leave your keys and stuff.  :)

The kids watched but Red and I jumped rope, punched punching bags (and kicked them too), sit ups, jumping jacks, more bag beatings, squats....Let me tell you, the workout was only about 35 minutes long and it kicked my fucking ass - hard core.  I was sore the minute we finished. 

We went back to Red's house and since we were both gross and sweaty, took showers.  Buzz decided to have lunch with us so we all headed to Subway to "Eat Fresh".  LOL.  We had a good time talking and eating. 

After lunch, Buzz headed to go hang out with his friends and Red and I took the kids with us to go check out a few thrift stores.  We had a blast and the stores we visited were really awesome.  We will be go back together when I'm ready to do back to school clothes shopping for the kids!! 

When we were finished shopping we went back to Red's house.  I was getting tired (probably from the heat) and my body was already killing me so we decided to call it a day.  After Dazzle and Neon had kissed both the dogs goodbye, it was time to head to the house. 

I laid down for a little while to try to let my body recover while I waited on Supa to get home from work.  We planned a date night and I was going to get up and get ready for that when he got home.  I think I laid down for about 45 minutes and barely gotten to sleep when it was time to get ready! 

I made the kids exactly what they wanted for dinner - hot dogs mixed with macaroni and cheese.  YUM!  Supa and I left them at home playing and watching TV to go on our date. 

We went to Hibachi Express for dinner and had "fast-food" Japanese food.  My plate looked like this:

YUM!!   There was no way I could eat all of it so half of it went back home with us.

We were trying to decide for days what we wanted to do after dinner.  We thought about going to the movies (Ted?) or going to play putt putt but we wanted to do something different.  Supa suggested that instead of going to the movies to see something we only kind of cared about seeing, we should go to Best Buy and look around together.  That sounded like the best date of all to me!  I love shopping! 

We ended up looking at movies for a while and buying 4 DVD's:

Revenge of the Nerds (heehee)
Children of the Corn (this scared the shit out of me in the 80's!)
Robin Hood - Men In Tights
Ransom (one of my favorite Mel Gibson movies)

We took them home and watched Men In Tights with the kids.  I promptly fell asleep after the first 30 minutes or so.  LOL.   I was tired and my body was DONE!

I had planned on cutting the grass Sunday morning at 6 AM and I was awake when the alarm clock went off BUT, I tried to get out of bed and I couldn't.  My legs wouldn't work.  I was in such extreme pain that I woke Supa up and told him how bad I felt and that I couldn't cut the grass.  He told me not to worry about it and stay in bed and rest so...That's what I did!

Once I got up for the day, I had to take a pain pill.  I couldn't believe I hurt myself so badly! 

Supa was off and we had more plans with Red and Buzz so we got up, got ready and headed over to their house. 

Buzz and Supa finally got to meet each other and I'll go ahead and say that they both thought the other was awesome and fun to be around so that's WONDERFUL news!! I have a feeling they might be besties before too long!  ;)

They might not be this sparkly but it's coming.  LOL, I just know it!

We decided to cook out on the grill for lunch.  We brought buns, pasta salad and hot dogs.  Red even made us turkey burgers even though she doesn't like them!  :)  We hung out while Buzz cooked on the grill.  The kids played with the dogs and Red's two nephews were there and we got to meet them too!  They are little guys (2 and 3 years old) so we're just going to call them Cutie #1 and Cutie #2 for now.  Red took the kids all out front to chalk on the sidewalk and this time I remembered to take some pictures:

Unfortunately, I can't figure out how to turn the photo!  Damnit!

Dazzle drew the butterfly, I'm assuming for me. :)

I'm glad Neon wrote Neon and not his real name :)

He's got some kind of 9 year old word obsession with "Pie" so everything is pie right now.  LOL

Cutie #1 and Cutie #2 made their own artwork too!  :)

I think it says, "I love Aunt Apple!" but I can't be sure....Heehee.

After fun hang out time, it was time to get our eat on.  All the food was yummy and we were all full! 

We cleaned up from lunch and then it was time to head to the pool!  Red's sister recently moved into an apartment with a really nice pool so we decided to go check it out. 

We swam, talked, laughed and played for a few hours.  It was so fun and the best company!  After we were all slightly burnt, wore out and talked out, it was time to head home.  We were all pooped and wishing for a nap! 

We got home and Supa cooked the kids and I breakfast for dinner.  Delish!  We relaxed the rest of the afternoon and before I knew it, it was time to get ready for work the next day.  POOP!

Since I'm not going to the nail salon anymore, it was also time to get my nails right!


I did them all by myself and I was really happy with the results!  ;)  I love free stuff! 

As I said before, I was a total zombie at work yesterday, body still killing me.  When I finally got home from work I wanted to lay on the couch and do NOTHING but instead, I went outside and cut the lawn in the back yard.  It was painful but I think it helped my achy muscles.  Today I feel better and I will be cutting the front yard when I get home. 

Overall, we had an amazing weekend with some awesome new friends.  I know this is just the first wonderful weekend out of many more to come.  ;)  We already have more plans for next weekend with our new friends!  

Happy and well, just happy,

Apple

I Survived!!

I lived through my root canal and I'm here to tell you all about it.  LOL

This is probably going to be a quick one because work is killing me (especially since I wasn't here yesterday) but I did want to give an update, however short.

Supa took the day off yesterday so he could take me to my dentist appointment.   I had never had gas before and wasn't sure how I would be feeling.  I was a nervous wreck from the time I woke up until the time my Xanax started kicking in.  LOL.  I sure needed it. 

They took me back there, put the gas on my face and I was GONE!  I sure didn't know what planet I was on.  I could hear myself laughing but I couldn't control the laughing.  Hence the term "laughing gas".  I understand now, LMAO! 

They took the gas off when the dentist came in to give me the Novocaine shots but I was so far gone, I didn't really care what he was doing.  Then they let me sit there for a little while waiting for the Novocaine to numb my face up good (I almost fell completely asleep) and then he came in to do the root canal (which at that point, I mostly felt nothing since my face was all numbed up).  I heard a whole lot of gross, drilling noises and I smelt some stank burning smells but besides that, I was OK.  I still couldn't wait for it to be over. 

The worst parts of the whole thing were :

**The anticipation of what they were going to do (the unknown) - that's why I was SO worked up about it before I even got there and I had nervous stomach all morning.  "Nervous stomach" means, on the toilet, off the toilet, on the toilet, off the toilet.  Get me?

**The gas they gave me made me feel awesome, except for the fact that it made my "nervous stomach" turn into "pukey stomach".  I felt like I was going to hurl all over the place and that wasn't very fun.  Especially when someone has your mouth propped open and is digging around in there.  I had "pukey stomach" for a couple of hours afterwards which really pissed me off.  If I wouldn't have gotten gas at all, I would have probably felt much better.

Right before we leave, they tell me that I need to come back two more times before I would be finished.  WTF?!?!?!  Nobody mentioned that!  Oh, no! 

They said that the roots were so infected, they had to dig all the gross, infected stuff out of there and then pack the tooth with medicine (even though I've been taking antibiotics for two weeks) and then cover it back over with temporary cement to hold it in.  Next appointment, they have to clean it out again and then on the third appointment, they will put the post inside my tooth and fill it.  Then, I'll finally be finished. 

Wow, CRAZY bullshit all for one tooth! 

On that note, I have to give a huge shout out to one of my best friends, Red Lady!!  She listened to everything that makes me really afraid of the dentist, she analyzed if it was an important tooth to keep or not, she financially helped me decide what was best and most importantly, she gave me a gentle shove that I needed to face my fear head on.  I promise, if it wasn't for Red, I would have let that tooth either rot out of my face or I would have went and had it cut out so I didn't have to worry about it anymore.  Both bad decisions. 

Thanks again, Red!  Thank you for being there for me, shoving me when I needed to be shoved (most people are too scared to shove me), helping me decide to do what is right and take care of myself for a change, for understanding that my fear was not irrational and for taking me seriously.  You have officially graduated from being my work friend, to being one of my very best friends and as you know, those are kept to a bare minimum these days :)

I spent the rest of the day drugged up and in a fog.  Supa drove me around to run some errands that I usually do all by myself but yesterday, I needed help with.  :)  I did get to sleep for a while and that was nice. Red came over after work to check on me, eat dinner and exercise (yep, I still got my calorie burn in - no root canal is going to hold me down!).  We also watched our favorite show together and had a great time. 

Today, I'm busy so far.  Red and I have been plotting some really fun weekend plans so that we can spend some REAL time together (work doesn't count) so I'm going to hold everyone in suspense and make you wait until Monday to hear about our shenanigans.  :)

I'm going to sit here at my desk and try to not touch my face.  Yesterday, it felt like someone punched me in the jaw and today, it feels like someone punched me in the jaw yesterday so.....Hopefully I can make it all day long without drugging myself up again.  Lolly said she would drive me around on our lunch hour but then I have to get myself home. 

Fun, fun!

Slightly tortured yet still alive,

Apple

Blogging While I Can

Work was taking up my time yesterday so I couldn't blog.  I'm getting it all out of my system today since I won't be at work tomorrow (more about that later) and everyone knows how well I blog from home.....

Friday night....

I got off an hour early since I won a contest at work (cross sells baby!) and what did I do with that hour?  Straight to the nail salon!

Again, my real nails. 

I did decide yesterday that I will not be going to the nail salon anymore.  I have my own, real nails now and Dazzle is a better nail artist than some of those people at the nail salon!  I will be letting her paint my nails from now on...We'll see how that goes. 

I can't even remember what I did that night....I think I watched TV with the fam until I passed out on the couch....Probably during a really good episode of Hell's Kitchen.  Yeah, I think that's about how the night went.  

Dazzle and I LOVE Ramsay!!  We can't wait for Hotel Hell to come on!

Saturday....

Supa was off and we went to get our family friend Dark Special (Yes, I just made that one up all by myself - What can I say?  He's dark and he's special!) right after breakfast so he could spend the whole day with us.  I met Dark at the Pub-Dizzle many years ago and have been friends ever since.  He doesn't have a car (or a driver's license, YET) so I go and pick him up and take him back home when we want to spend some time together. 

ANYHOW, we picked up Dark and went to the pet shelter to play with the puppies again!  YAY!  We had to get flea treatments for the dogs the real reason we went because the fleas are SO bad this year!  While we were there....We played with many puppies.  Dark had one that was SO little and sweet!

Look how little he is compared to Dark's hand!  So cute!!

We took Dark into cat heaven and I really wanted to see if my friend was still in there.  Scary Cat!  He sure was.  This time I got a really good picture of him/her after it stepped out of the basket and graced us with it's presence.


This cat's face scares the shit out of me!!!

I got as close as I had to get and then got the hell away from him/her!  Freaky!!!

We had a great visit, went by Subway to grab our lunch and went back to the house to get ready for our day of fun in the sun!

Everyone met us at the house and off we went!  We spent the day at a local park that has a water park on the grounds.  We used to take the kids there when they were little but we haven't been in a long time.  It was a very hot and sunny day on Saturday so we thought it would a perfect place to hang out for a few hours. 

Our group for the day included Supa, Dazzle, Neon, myself, Dark, Jade, Cat Mama, Bean, Lolly and Camo Man!  It took 3 cars to contain us.  We brought coolers with lots of drinks, snacks and sunscreen (even though some of us forgot to reapply).

We had such a great time talking, splashing and hanging out.  I hope we can get together and go back again soon! 

I took plenty of pictures (check Facebook) but I only took one picture that I could post here on my blog, LOL (what a photographic loser!):

This is a caterpillar that Lolly picked up (yes, with her bare hands <SHUDDER>) and placed on Supa's shoulder.  LOL

I made sure to be far away while she was holding the little yucky bug!

We went home afterwards to take showers and clean up. Then we ran to grab the kids a pizza for dinner.  Jade and I planned for Cat Mama to spend the night with Dazzle and Neon but they didn't know that and it was really fun to surprise them.  :)  After we had the kids settled down and eating their dinner, we took Dark home (I love you and we'll see you again soon!) and then we were off to Olive Garden to have a grownup dinner date, just the two of us. 

We had a really great meal and a nice time together.  :) 

Sunday....

The day was pretty routine and uneventful.  We ran to the dumpster (no coupons to be found, fuck!), ran to the flea market (no movie guy, double fuck) and did a whole bunch of laundry.  I was supposed to get up and cut the grass at the crack of dawn but that didn't happen so I cut it after dinner when the sun started to go down. 

Before I knew it, it was Monday AGAIN!

I won't be at work tomorrow because it is the day of my root canal/filling.  My appointment is for 9:30 AM and I'm super scared but they promised me that the gas would cause me to not even know what planet I'm on so...I think I will probably be ok.  I'm still nervous but I'll be ready to get it over with.  Everyone, cross your fingers.

Scared yet ready I think,

Apple

Brief Review

I haven't been going to bed at my normal bedtime.  Sometimes, I really get into the TV show I'm watching and I just can't turn it off to get into bed.  Fucking shame on me for being adventurous and staying up late because now I'm tired as shit and have been for the past couple of days....So, today, I plan on sitting here at my desk, answering the phone when it rings and besides that, doing pretty much nothing.  I'm going to read (if I can keep my eyes open and do so) and pluck my eyebrows....and that's about all I have planned.  Let me throw a brief review of the week out for everyone before I go into my "eyes open" desk coma until lunch time when I will resurface WIDE awake and very alert.

I mean, I sleep really hard....I guess I'm just not sleeping long enough.....

Friday Night:

I stayed up until 1:30 AM, standing in my kitchen, peeling boiled eggs and watching the Bachelorette on my iPad.  The eggs were for a pool party we were planning on going to the next day because I got the genius idea I would make deviled eggs to contribute....I made 75 halves.  Sheesh.  

I didn't think about taking a photo because I am the slack photo person I have always been but mine did look a lot like this because I use a piping bag to fill the eggs. 

Saturday:

I got up at 6:30 AM to cut our grass.  We recently discovered that both Copper and Odie have fucking fleas, which to me is just as awful and aggravating as having ants in your kitchen cabinets.  Supa was going to go to Jade's house to get some leftover flea/bug/ant killer for our yard and the grass needed to be cut before he broad casted it all over the place.  I needed to exercise so I volunteered to do the mowing.  I had to FORCE myself out of bed since I was up so late the night before but whatever, you do what you have to do.....

Since I had such a difficult relationship with our lawn mower, I was starting to wonder if I should just get out the knee pads and scissors BUT this week, I had no mower issues.  THANK GOD!!!

I finished the yard.  Supa broad casted, treated our carpet and put flea stuff on the dogs.  (Today is Thursday and the dogs still have fucking fleas....Dazzle just gave them both a flea bath this morning but I'm still not convinced that's going to work either.  If we don't get rid of them soon, I'm going to lose it!)  I went inside to make all the deviled eggs and then have lunch.  Afterwards, it was SUPER nap time.  I got in my bed and slept like a rock until Dazzle work me up to go to the pool party.  WOO!

The party was held at the house of our landlords.  They have a party every year around the 4th and it's always a good time.  I got pretty drunk while swimming in the pool and socializing all day.  The kids were entertained by all the other kids there and Supa even got to come with us because by some miracle, he had that day off!  They cooked an entire pig among tons of other things, burgers, hot dogs and such.  The food was wonderful, atmosphere amazing and company superb!  We had a blast and by the time we left (9PM) we were all exhausted. 


Partying all day long in a pool really wears a person out!  :)

PS, the deviled eggs were a huge hit!  :)

Sunday:

We ran to the flea market, no movie guy.  FUCK!  I have been trying to get 21 Jump Street so I can watch my main man in action (Channing Tatum) and he hasn't been there.  I guess if he isn't there this coming weekend, I'll have to break down and get it full price from Walmart.  <sigh>

I washed every single sheet, comforter, pillow case and blanket in our house since I was sure we were getting rid of the fleas.  Now I think I might have been wasting my time since we still have fleas and I'll probably have to wash everything again....But whatever....Again, "do what you have to do" mode.....

I attempted to go to the park with the kids and walk around the track for exercise (at 3PM) but that didn't work out to well because it was hot as HELL no pun intended, literally hot as hell.  We had to abandon mission half way through since Neon looked like he was having an asthma attack (the boy doesn't have asthma so I thought that was a clear sign that I needed to take him back to the air conditioned house) and Dazzle's face was as red as red gets.  We ended up back at the house where the kids took cold showers and I got on the treadmill.  Good times.  LOL.

I'm not sure what the temperature reached Sunday but I know what it felt like. 

Jade went to the dumpster by herself after she left her Mom's house.  She took one for the team and thankfully, didn't get arrested.  WOOT!

Monday:

Supa and I went to our marriage counseling appointment first thing that morning.   That time I felt like we argued in front of our counselor the entire hour but she said it was productive for her to see us that way so...I guess that's a good thing then.  We were told to keep practicing our tools and that we were doing well.  We haven't argued since then...hopefully we can continue our winning streak.

Nothing else happened.....It was a long fucking day that I thought would never end since I didn't get to take a lunch and for the fact that I loath Monday's!!!

Lolly came over for dinner, TV and exercise and we had a great time together as usual!!  I love my Lolly!!!  :)

Tuesday:

The day rolled on by almost as slow as Monday did.  Supa worked till 8 PM or so and it rained like mother nature was really pissed off.  I ran on the treadmill for exercise and fell asleep on the couch later that night....day complete.  LOL

Wednesday:

My favorite day of the week was awesome as usual.  I went couponing on my lunch break with Lolly, had dinner, exercise time, couponing time and TV time with Red.  Best. Weekday. Ever!

My Mom text me to let me know that she finally booked our hotel reservations for our beach vacation coming up.  She found a really nice looking resort for us to stay at that caters to the kids and what they like to do...Sound perfect!  I found some pics to share:

We did get an ocean front balcony room :)



Looks like a nice place to me!!  I'm so ready!!!


 Thursday:

So far so good.  It's still early but work is slower then it has been in a while so that's a little comforting....

I'm going shopping and to Subway with Lolly for our lunch break today (WOO HOO, more Lolly time!).  Tonight Supa and I are taking the kids out to eat dinner.  :)  I love meals where we don't have to prepare, cook or clean.  I'm not sure where we're going yet but I know wherever we are, it's sure to be a super fun time! 

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thursday and if I'm not around tomorrow, a super fabulous weekend.

Apple

I Got Nothing!

I'm just being honest.  I have absolutely nothing to talk about today (nothing interesting at least) and I think I'm just going to take the day to catch up on my TV shows.  Hopefully I'll have something brilliant to say tomorrow and if not, maybe Friday.....

If anyone is angry, please leave me a death threat in the comments section.....Those are fun for ME to read!!

My apologies,

Apple

Har-dee, Har-Har!

My real life hasn't been too humorous lately so I decided it was time to drum up some funnies.  You have to just take it all in stride and laugh right?  Here's what I put together to make myself feel better.  If you're having a crappy day, hopefully this will make your day a little brighter too.  :)

Haha!  So me!!  Even though the radio isn't harming a thing, if I'm lost, I at least need to hear clearly. 

But on the other hand, I am probably saying that you're a slut.  :)

Aunt Darling lives by this next one....I'm trying hard to be more like her:

I'm usually all about some revenge but I'm trying really hard to not let people control how I feel.  (Can you tell I've been talking to a therapist?)

Red contributed this one, because she knows me all too well:


And this is my life motto!  :)  heehee!!!  I know I am! 



Another person who knows me too well.  Uncle Darling knows this is the ONLY cheer my bitch ass is cheering. 

 Red really found some good stuff this week:

YOU REALLY SUCK.  Don't try to hide it, just grab a straw and do what you do best!



Me!  **If you don't understand the lyrical reference, we need to talk**

Since I am such a movie lover, I have really big movie posters in our living room, on the walls for decor.  I have Gremlins, The Princess Bride...and others...I also have one of E.T.  The other night, all four of us were sitting around the dinner table and Neon said, "Hey, Mama, I know what E.T stands for."  Oooookay, what?  "Extra Testicle, right?"  He was serious as a damn heart attack!  Dazzle looked confused while Supa and I cracked up laughing!!!!  No, silly Neon! "E.T. stands for Extra Terrestrial!!"  Then we had to explain what a terrestrial was.  I let Supa take that one. 

See, this is the bottom of the actual poster that is in our living room.

I asked him if he SAW where it said Extra Terrestrial and he said, "Yeah, I saw that!  I thought that word WAS testicle!"  HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Dazzle complains sometimes that we forbid her from having a "boyfriend" because what kind of boyfriend can a 12 year old have?.  So, when I found this gem the other day, I made sure she saw it:

 Her true love is out there and she will find him.......

Many, many, many years from now.  :)

I hope everyone had a good chuckle. 

Love,

Apple

Not Even Quite Sure Where To Begin.....

The last few days have been so crazy that I don't even know where to begin....It's just been a mess! 

I forgot to mention the fact that I almost got arrested on Sunday.  Yep, sure did.


FUCK the police!! 

I should probably be saying FUCK the district manager instead of the police because the police never actually got called but anyhow....

I was at the coupon dumpster with Supa (kids tucked safely away at the house), I was looking through trash for coupons and he was digging in the dumpster when a white, mini van pulled right up to my face.  He rolled down his window and said, "You know you aren't supposed to be in that dumpster right?"  and I said, "Well, I talked to someone who works here and they told us we could take all the TRASH out of this TRASH CAN that we wanted to as long as we aren't putting trash in the dumpster."  He said, "Well, I don't care who you talked to I'M THE DISTRICT MANAGER and I say you're not supposed to be doing that."  "Okay, well, we don't mean any harm, we are just looking for coupons!"  He gave me a dirty look, backed up, parked in front of the building and went inside.  I'm sure he was going to call the cops so we left and went back home.  I managed to get 2 papers.  WTF?!  I need like 40!  Supa didn't say a word the entire time we were standing there....He's so damn aggressive NOT.  Let everyone be aware, no dickhead district manager is going to keep me away from my free grocery money!  I will be at that dumpster every Sunday like clock work and if he fucks with me, I will cover my license plate with cardboard before I go up there!  I will go in the dark with a flash light.  I will hide in the bushes and mother fucking stalk the dumpster if I have to.  Don't fuck with me and my coupons, sir!  The next time we come in contact with each other, you will not be leaving as happy as you did this time.   Trust!

This is the gold of which I covet, dickhead!  Get in my way of taking your "trash" and my coven and I will put a curse on your ass!!!

Monday, nothing too exciting happened except for the fact that I was so busy at work I didn't have time to really do anything, even pee. 

Tuesday, I took the day off so that I could _________ (fill in the blank).  I actually took the day off for no reason at all.  :)  Sometimes you need a "just because" day.  I ended up making 2 appointments for myself that day since I had no other pressing plans. 

APT #1:  I went to see the marriage counselor since Supa had to work Mon-Fri and he couldn't come with me.  She said she would like to see us both separately, in addition to our other weekly appointments together.  This worked out perfectly this week due to Supa's schedule.

We had a good talk, starting out with how the past week with Supa went and moving onto my personal issues.....How I have an OCD tendency to clean like a crazy mother fucker.  Sometimes, I clean things over and over because there must still be germs, dust and dog hair there somewhere, right?  She is going to help me try to get a handle on that, LOL, good luck to her!  :)  

Just not over and over again.  My face usually looks about THIS cracked out too!

APT #2:  I had to go to the dentist.  One of my teeth broke a few months ago and up to this point, it hasn't bothered me but now it's hurting at least a little bit every single day.  DAMNIT!  I hate the dentist!  I had a traumatic experience with oral mouth surgery years ago and I'm afraid of anyone digging around in my mouth that's a great story for me to tell another time.  I took a Xanax and headed to my appointment.  

I don't have a script for these little magic pills but Jade does!  She gave me one so that I could go to my apt without crying or flipping out.  It was what allowed me to not give a damn that I was at the dentist.  :)  Thanks, Jade!

My broken tooth is infected (Amoxcillin) and it hurts (Vicoprofen, baby!).  (Duh, tell me something I don't know)  I need a root canal and a cap or filling.  WONDERFUL!  My other option was to have the tooth pulled but they don't recommend that since it will make chewing really difficult AND since the damn thing is right next to my sinus cavity, I would have to get it cut out by a surgeon.  WTF?!?!?!?! 

So, after much discussion with Supa and Red Lady that same night, we all decided I needed to save my tooth and get it fixed.  $600 later, omg.  Really, for one tooth?!  Anyhow, so I have an appointment for Wednesday, July 18th and I'm scared as fuck.  The only thing that is saving me from totally not going is the fact that I'm paying for gas, lots of gas. They promised me I won't even know what planet I'm on, much less that I'm getting a root canal.  :)  I'll smile to that!  I'll keep everyone posted......

My tooth with a big F on it for "Fuck"


I walked with Red and Jade Tuesday night for exercise and Red and I watched our show.  It was a weird day with a fun ending.  I LOVE hanging out with my girls! 

Wednesday, I ran a bunch of errands with Dazzle and Neon.  I took them out to eat for lunch and I found a whole bag of new clothes at Goodwill for $24.  That made me really happy! 

Wednesday night, Jade and I decided to go walk together for our exercise.  Awesome, right?  I leave my house and she leaves her house.  We walk in the direction of the other so we can meet in the middle and go do what we need to do.  I start out running....Run, run, run....I'm doing so well!  I check my phone.  It's 7:11 PM.  I keep running.  I get to where I'm feeling like immediate death is near and I can see Jade at this point so I slow to a walk and reach in my pocket for my phone to see what time it is and guess what.....??  My phone is MIA.  No big deal.  It must have bounced out of my pocket and it's lying in the ditch somewhere.  Jade and I went to look for it and it took us a little bit to find it.  It wasn't in the ditch.  It was in the road.  That was OK too.....as long as it wasn't crushed.  It was face down, the back was a few feet away and the battery was a few more feet away in the other direction.  Cool.  I picked it up and started rejoicing that it was okay when Jade (always my voice of reason) said, "Apple, turn it over."  That's when we saw this:

:(  Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.  I'm using that word in this post often today.  FUCK! 

Someone ran over my phone!!!  I told Jade I had to go home.  <Sniff, sniff> I didn't know what I was supposed to do with no phone but I felt like my arm was broken for sure.  I was totally lost.  I had to borrow Neon's phone and my new phone just came in the mail today.  I'm DYING to get home to it and I'm also going to get one of those arm bands that runners put their phones in because that shit won't happen to me twice!  Thank God for phone insurance!!  :)

That's all the excitement I can handle for one day.  I hope everyone has an amazing weekend and I will (hopefully) be bloggy on Monday...

Apple

My Weekend Kicked Ass!!! (Part 2)

**If you haven't seen Magic Mike yet and you want to be surprised, proceed with caution, spoiler's ahead**

I got up from my nap, got ready and left with Lolly and Jade for girl's night out!  I was super excited and it turned out to be everything I hoped it would be.  (I was sad that Red Lady didn't get to join us.  She was invited but she couldn't make it this time.  I'm trying to get her acquainted with Lolly so we can all hang out together.  ((New coven much?))  She's already gotten pretty used to my silly Jade.  LOL)

First, we went to dinner.  Since I'm so smart, I remembered to call before we left the house for "call-ahead seating" so once we arrived we only had to wait about 10 mins for a table.  Sahweet!

We LOVE Texas Roadhouse!!!

Lolly suggested Roadhouse and we gladly accepted.  We go there as often as possible.  Their food is amazing!! 

Sorry about the shitty photo!  It was dark in there and my phone doesn't have a flash!

The girls got steaks but since we were grilling steaks the next night, I got BBQ chicken breast and pulled pork.  YUM!  It was wonderful! 

We had a great meal, as usual, laughing, talking and messing with the waiter (not cute but very nice).  After we were stuffed (and after we stole as many roasted peanuts as we could fit in our purses) we headed to the movie theater. 

Damn straight!!!!  Let the vagina explosions begin! 

Let me just start out by saying that I have never been to a strip club (one with naked women, men or both).  I'm not sure why.  The opportunity just hadn't presented itself and now I'm married.  Since I don't want Supa to go to strip clubs (he has no interest and would never) I don't plan on going to one myself.  BUT, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Channing Tatum (and of course Matthew McConaughey, too) so when I heard there was going to be a movie about Channing's stripper days, I was totally IN!  Jade, Lolly and I have been planning to go see this movie since they started filming it.  I was so ready......I almost couldn't contain myself.  

Locked, loaded, buckets in hand and ready to go!

We sat together and watched the best.movie.ever.  I couldn't tell you a damn thing about the story line...and I doubt Jade or Lolly could either but I can tell you that we had the greatest time hooting, hollering, dancing and clapping together.  :)  I know I was the loudest and Jade probably the proudest.  I'm sure Lolly would have been the most embarrassed, had she gave a fuck but she doesn't.  LOL!!!! 

I was prepared for this since I saw the photo shoot but I got oh, so much more than this!!!

I'm proud to say that I've seen every inch of these four boys completely naked except for their special packages.  WHY did it have to be rated R?!  What happened to NC-17?!  LOL, I'm just kidding mostly. 


One of my favorite scenes.  Matt giving Bomer some tips on how to shake it properly.



One more reason to love True Blood :)



Best looking 42 year old I've ever seen!  Do it, Matthew!!!!



It felt like it was "The Channing Tatum Show" and I loved that!!!  :)

Basically, our buckets ran over a more times than I could count and I realized about half way through that we probably needed a bathtub to contain ourselves, literally.  I can't wait to buy Magic Mike on DVD so I can watch it on repeat all day long, at home, at my desk, in bed, while driving, ALL THE TIME ;)

This is sort of correct.  First of all, you can keep Beaver, oops, I mean Bieber because he's a baby and NOT attractive at all.  Secondly, Pattinson and Lautner always belonged to us.  Third, my 12 year old daughter is in no way going to stand in between me and my Channing.  Nice try but get it right! 

When we were finished sweating and giggling like a bunch of teenagers watching the movie, we went to the porn shop.  I mean, what else do you do after watching shit like that?  It was midnight and we were wide awake! 

Lolly modeling some shoes for us.

Since Camo Man is Lolly's boyfriend, we thought it would be really funny for her to get some camo colored stripper shoes.  LOL, she didn't buy them but she did have fun walking around in them for us.  Haha!!! 


I saw plenty of crazy stripper shoes while I was looking around.  These cracked me up for some reason.  Who wears shit like this?  OH, duh, strippers do!!  Haha!!!



There were even stripper boots hanging from the ceiling.  LOLOL!!!!

(Since Uncle Darling (and sometimes Aunt Darling) read my blog, I had to stick with safe photos of things like stripper shoes because I'm not sure if they could handle pictures of the other things/toys we were looking at.) It's all in good fun!  It's not like we bought any of those things....or did we?!  Bahahahahahahahaha!!!!

It was around 2 AM when we got home and I was WIDE OPEN!  I kept Supa up until about 4 AM.  He was totally happy we went to see Magic Mike once he realized he got to reap the benefits from it.  ;)

Sunday morning when I got up (around 9 AM), I text Jade and told her that I thought I had a dick hangover.  She replied, "Is that called a dickover?".  Bahahahahahaha!!  Jade officially made up a new word!  Yes, I did have a dickover.  I couldn't focus on anything except penis!!  Oh, wow.  We had a pretty relaxing day overall.  We ran a few errands and got food ready to grill out.  We decided to have our 4th of July celebration that day since Supa had to work on the real 4th.

We had steaks from Pub-Dizzle, BBQ basted smoked sausage, loaded mashed potatoes, (homemade by me!) corn on the cob, and french bread.  YEHAW!  It was yummy as hell!  Supa did a great job cooking the steaks on the grill!!

Before

I forgot to take the after photo because I was so excited to eat them!!  ;) 

We mostly ate and relaxed all day.  It was a wonderful weekend and I was so happy to have shared it with my best friends and awesome little family.

Until Tomorrow,

Apple