T.G.I Mother Fucking F!

I'm sure I say this every week but, thank you sweet baby Jesus for Friday!  I am so ready for this day to be over so I can go do what I want to do with my time!  I swear, this week at work felt like prison!  I'm fairy certain the people in prison would highly disagree but whatev.

I've got a lot going on today so I'm going to update everyone and keep it short...

Supa really liked the new therapist that he went to see on Wednesday.  He said the building was nice and clean, the people friendly and helpful.  He said the therapist was a really nice guy who seemed to understand him and all went well.  I'm so glad and I have a feeling this might be our guy!  I tried to make him an appointment for next week but that didn't go so well with his schedule (and apparently this doctor is good and books fast) so I'll be calling when I get his schedule for the next week.  (Talk about total relief)  I don't regret going to see the marriage counselor though...Even though it didn't work out for us and she obviously wasn't focusing on the right issues, (which was really not her fault either since we picked the wrong specialist) but I do think that it helped give Supa the courage he needed to go see this counselor because we went to see the last one together and he kind of knew what to expect.  Run on sentence much, Apple?  Sorry, I'm not really fully awake yet  So far, so good.  He hasn't had a single "episode" for almost 2 weeks now so I'm getting more and more hopeful that everything is going to be okay.

As long as he's more trustworthy than this.....We're probably good.  LOL

Talking about doctors.....

I called Doctor's Care about Supa's colonoscopy and the weird phone call I got the other night.  Apparently, the test hasn't been set up yet.  They are waiting to hear from the specialist.  They also had NO idea who called me and said that if they call back I should get a bunch of information and question the shit out of them.  (They don't know me do they....)  The "doctor" never did call back the next day to speak to Supa like he said he would.  Maybe I scared him away but it sure does freak us the fuck out that someone called and knew that Supa needed something medical done.  WEIRD!!!  How the hell did they know that info anyway??  Coincidence?  I'll be on the lookout for that crazy person. 

There are 2 videos that I wanted to share.  I can't figure out how to turn them so you'll have to turn your head instead.  I know...so ghetto of me but I can't figure it out right now!!!  GRRR! 

This first video is of one of Uncle Darling's dogs, Harvey.  Harvey had cancer and passed away this year.  This is to remember him and how sweet he was.

**Haha!!  Thank you, Blogger for turning that video for me!!!  Perfect!!**

Harvey loved his toy!  I won't ever forget that non-stop bark!  LOL

This next video was one that Dazzle took with her iPad to send to Uncle Darling and Aunt Darling.  SO, when she says in the video that she loves and misses you, she's not talking to you guys.  LOL.  I hope you enjoy seeing Copper and Odie in action.  Hopefully, she'll make more videos (and get better and better at it too, heehee)  so you can see their silly antics more often.  

As you can hear Dazzle say, she just gave them both a bath.  :)  Thank you, Dazzle!  Copper was starting to smell!! 

I was on Twitter last night and I saw a few interesting things I thought I would bring to your attention:

The cutest breakfast ever!

Katy Perry tweeted this and I couldn't stop looking at it!!  How sweet!  I don't want Dazzle and Neon to see it because they will want me to try to make it and I'm sure it will be a huge fail!  LOL

This next one is a photo that Chanel West Coast tweeted of her and her friend at a club....(In case you're not familiar with Chanel, she is the secretary of Rob Dyrdek who has a show on MTV called, Fantasy Factory.  This the same Rob from Rob & Big (another show on MTV).  Rob is a famous skateboarder and he cracks me the fuck up!  I love him!! 

This is Chanel:


She is also a free-style rapper. 

 Back to the photo she tweeted:

Two pretty girls...oh, wait, and an ass!!!

She got photo bombed by an ASS!  WTF?!  That ass knew exactly what it was doing!  Whoever took this photo needs to be slapped!  Wow.

This last photo made me laugh and laugh.  I can't even recall who tweeted it.  I just found it funny as shit:


I love Drake!  I think he's really cute and very talented.

You can color me a unicorn anytime, baby!

That's all folks!  I have a book series to finish (J. Strawberry, I'm getting so close!!) and work to be completed. 

May everyone have a fabulous weekend and I'll be back on Monday to tell you about mine!

YOLO,

Apple

Gotta Love Hump Day

I love me some Wednesday's!  Supa gets paid every Wednesday, it's the half way point in the week, TV is usually good and it's the first day of the new sales ad at the stores (coupon time!!)  It's an overall good day. 

Today, I'm going to be brief.  It's my fax day at work and between that, paying bills and couponing and hopefully painting my nails, it's going to be a good but busy day.

Supa is at his very first trauma counseling appointment right now as I type this.  I am so proud of him for getting the help that he needs and going by himself.  I think that once he rids himself of his childhood demons, everything else between us will fall into place.  I'm really excited about this and I hope this doctor knows what he's doing!  I'll keep everyone posted.

I had a dream last night that I was with Jade smoking Marlboro lights again.  I don't really understand why I keep dreaming that we're smoking.  I haven't smoked a single cigarette in over 6 months and I don't ever want to smoke again so I'm not sure why it keeps haunting me but I wish my dreams would change.  So annoying to wake up thinking about a Marlboro.  I wonder if this is my subconscious telling me that Jade is secretly still smoking.  JADE?!  Are you still smoking when I'm not looking?  Just checking :)

So we've been waiting to hear from Doctor's Care about when Supa's colonoscopy will be.  I  still haven't heard anything from there and I'm starting to lose my patience.  I had already decided I was going to call them today or tomorrow when something strange happened....

Last night, Supa was at work, kids in bed asleep.  I was on the couch watching Breaking Amish (really, really good show, might just be my favorite new show - check that shit out!) when my cell phone rang.  I figured it was Supa or Jade but nope, it was an "unknown number" so I answered.  What the hell.  It went a little something like this:

Me:  Hello?

Stranger:  Hi.  Can I speak to Supa Darling.

Me:  Who is this?

Stranger:  Is he there??

Me:  Um, excuse me!  WHO IS THIS?!

Stranger:  This is Dr. Lloyd (or Lowe - he was hard to hear) and I'm calling about doing an exam on Supa's stomach. 

Me:  (WTF?!)  Ah, well, we are waiting on a call from Doctor's Care to be referred to a specialist for a colonoscopy.  So.....I'm not really sure what you're calling about an exam for.....

Stranger:  Yeah, yeah, I'm calling on behalf of Doctor's Care.

Me:  (Totally weirded out at this point)  Okay, well, Supa is not home right now so you'll need to call back tomorrow to speak with him.  (Normally, I would have taken the info but this just wasn't quite right - also, it was not during business hours and I was on the couch in my pj's.  I didn't exactly have a pen and paper or calendar handy.)

Stranger:  What time should I call him tomorrow?  <laughter> You know because I don't want to wake him up.

Me:  (this guy is starting to sound drunk)  Ah, in the afternoon would be fine. 

Now, let's just get one thing straight.  I'm no dummy and I have had a few procedures in my time.  The specialist NEVER calls you.  The doctor NEVER calls you.  That's what the pee-ons are for.  The receptionist or nurse will call you.  But they sure as fuck don't call you at 8:42 PM.

I text Supa and told him what the "doctor" said.  He said that didn't sound right at all and he didn't want that guy sticking anything up his ass.  LMAO!! 

I'm calling Doctor's Care this morning to ask who the hell that was. 


I'm going to make sure no quack is putting a camera in Supa's butt. 

This new color is called "15 Minutes of Frame".  LOL, I like the silly nail polish color names.

I love it!  Why do my fingers look so damn crooked?!

Super Bass found another amazing item on Craigslist.  She's getting good at finding the really weird shit.  After that last one, The Love Chair, I was afraid to click on the link to see what this was.



Looks like a casket right?



Well, it kind of is a casket but it's also a grill.



What the fuckity?!  It's a GRILL???????!

We couldn't really figure out why someone would have a spare casket lying around their house.  I really hope they hosted a haunted house or something and that is why they turned a casket into a grill but who the fuck knows.....

Laters,

Apple

What A Lovely Weekend!

I'm not glad to be back at work but I'm plenty happy to recall this past weekend for everyone.  Maybe that will help me in pretending I'm not really sitting here at my desk.  :/  Golly, it's going to be a long ass day. 

Friday night I hung out with Supa and the kids catching up on some TV.  We watched the finale epidsode of Hell's Kitchen.  (GO CHRISTINA!)  Supa had to go to bed about half way through the episode so he could get up early for work the next day.  Neon suggested we go get Icees and when someone says the "I" word, I don't need much convincing.  I threw on my track suit and let the kids ride in the truck in their PJ's and off we went to get our frozen snack.  YUM! In addition to the Icees that we bought, I also found a cool little gadet for my cell phone:

For only $1, you can stick this suction cup to the back of your cell phone so it will stand up.  Perfect!  I have been looking for something to stand my phone up with on my desk for a long time.  $1?  SOLD!

In fact, I'm using it right now.  Works like a charm!  ;)

Saturday morning, Supa went to work at 4 AM and the kids and I slept in.  I think I got up around 9ish.  (That's late when you have kids and dogs)  It was super beautiful outside so after breakfast, I decided to go on a bike ride to take care of my exercise for the day.  I had never rode my bike in the morning before and I did a bunch of waving while I was riding around the surrounding neighborhoods.  Everyone was outside cutting their grass, riding their bikes and walking, just enjoying the nice morning.  It was a very enjoyable ride, to say the least.  I rode down to Jade's house to see what she had going on that day.  She greeted me on her front porch in her fluffy pink bathrobe and gave me a little flash to let me know that she just got out of the shower and she was gracing me with her presence, naked.  WOO HOO!!  I got my thrill for the day!  :)

Once I got back from my ride, I got ready to go run errands.  Lolly was on her way over and I wanted to be ready when she got there.  We took the kids and ran a few errands:  Bilo, Food Lion, Subway to pick up lunch.  We went home to eat our subs and then it was off to go run more errands!  LOL.  We ran to my new favorite store  Sally Beauty Supply for BOGO fingernail polish and to scour the clearance table.  I ended up buying 5 new polish colors (I am really obsessed with painting my nails and having every color of the rainbow) some nail sticks (for shoving back your cuticles so you don't paint them), and some Sally eyeshadow that was only .39 each!  I love me some deals!!  Lolly bought some new polish too and then we were on our way to our other favorite place, Pet's Inc.

It looks like green glitter in the photo but it must just be my bad lighting.  They are blue I promise!

Naturally, I changed my polish as soon as I could.  Gotta try out those new colors!

The puppies and kittens were extra cute this past weekend.  It was especially hard to not take a puppy home.  They were so soft and sweet!  We sat in chairs and held them as long as possible. 

You wouldn't believe how soft he was!!!




It's hard to take pictures of squirmy puppies!

Dazzle and Neon insisted on visiting the cats/kittens too.  They say that it's not fair if we only visit the dogs/puppies.  Haha, they are probably right. 

I had to get a picture of this beautiful blue eyed kitty! 



This one was like "Please take my photo!  I'm a super star!"



This kitten was so small and irresistable.  I had to pry it from Dazzle's hands.



This kitty wasn't screaming at me, even though it looks like it was.  Just a picture taken in mid-huge yawn.

We had a great time as usual playing with all the animals.  We got Copper some dog food and left before someone ended up following us home! 

We ran to the mall to have Lolly's ring inspected and cleaned (that took a total of about 5 minutes, much to our delight).  When we were finished, we didn't have much else planned and I knew that Supa would be getting off of work soon so we decided to go into Hot Topic to see what they had going on.  (Dazzle's favorite store)

Hot Topic had their Halloween gear out and we had a great time looking at it!

Neon was trying on masks....I'm not sure what super hero this one is....



Then Dazzle and I had to get in on the fun!  :)

We could have stayed in there and played for hours.  I can't wait to go buy the kids their Halloween costumes now!  

We met Supa at the house to go together to dinner.  We all wrote down our dinner suggestions on little slips of paper and pulled one out of a hat.  San Jose it is!  Our favorite Mexican restaurant never lets us down.  Good one, Lolly!  We had a wonderful dinner together, stuffed ourselves good and went back to the house to meet Jade and Cat to watch our newest movie addition:  Snow White and The Huntsmen.

It was FABULOUS, one of the best movies ever.  I'm glad we bought it on DVD so I can watch it again.  Everyone really enjoyed it. 

Sunday was equally as cool.  Supa was off (shocker) so we ran errands, got a few gifts for Neon's birthday and relaxed a bit.  Lolly came over and we went on a 3 mile walk at what Jade calls "the shady park".  Supa cooked us a healthy dinner that we ruined with chocolate root beer floats for dessert.  LOL.

Happy last week of September folks.  Yep, the calendar says that fall started this past Saturday.  Wahoo!!

Later,

Apple

Happy Friday!!

I don't feel like blogging today.  I'm sleepy and kinda cranky and just wish this day was over so I could start my weekend. 

I did paint my nails this week.  (mega productive right?)

Hot pink with black crackle.  I like this crackle stuff.  I think you'll be seeing more of it in the near future

Lolly and I were at Subway yesterday and the cashier said how cool my nails looked.  He wanted to know how I did that and that I must have a really steady hand.  LOL. 

This weekend should be a good one.  Lolly is coming over to spend the day with us on Saturday (first time in forever, YAY!!) and we have some fun things planned.  Then I'm hoping to talk her into bringing her Mom's bike over on Sunday and going riding at the river front park with me.  We'll see. I haven't even asked her about that yet.  Sunday I'm also planning on going shopping with Supa for Neon's birthday (October 9th is coming fast) and purchasing a bike rack for my truck.  It's such a pain in the ass to haul it into and out of the back of the truck every time I want to take it somewhere.

That's all the details you're getting for now.  I can't stay and chat today.  You'll have to wait till Monday to see what we actually ended up doing with our weekend. 

Love,

Apple

Pinterest, I Love You!! PS - I'm On Twitter

One of my co-workers sent me some really funny shit yesterday over work email and it reminded me of the awesome stuff I come across on Pinterest on a daily basis.  I then realized that in between all the weekend update posts and other hum-drum life kind of posts I haven't posted much funnies lately.  Let's take care of that right now!

**Complete side note - 

Anyone that knows me in real life can contact me for my Twitter @ so that they can follow me if they would like to.  I haven't paid any attention to Twitter in a long time but....I'm back!!  :)

**End random side note -

Back to the funnies!  Here are the ones that my co-worker contributed:


I want to call this one "gross hair" but it needs something more like "creepy as hell hair".  WTF?!

I don't even want to know how they did that.  Aren't people going to snatch his money out of his head when he walks by, falls asleep, etc?!

Another one that freaked me the fuck out.  WHY would someone do this to their head.??

I chose to laugh instead of cry when I saw that because honestly, the shit could have gone either way.  Disgusting!!


Oh really?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 

He reminds me of someone...OH!  I know!!  Charles Manson!  WTF?!

Why do you look so angry?  Not proud with how those imaginary hair abs are shaping up? 

Time to get a new razor!  YUCK!!!


Is that white dude wearing a huge black diaper or are those supposed to be short shorts AKA cootie cutters?

I guarantee the person taking this photo is laughing their ass off and the black dude (by the look on his face) doesn't think this shit is funny AT ALL.  LMAO! 


Because baby hippos are cute as shit!

 If the damn things would stay that small, we would all have one!  :)

Then, I was doing my blog "research" and came across this epic shit:



Because I am NOT the one!  Hehe



Supa and I ALWAYS talk about this!!!!  WHY?!



You do not want me to show you what exactly that means.  Trust.



It's a real good thing I don't give a fuck because if I did, I'd be in trouble!



I think this almost during every shower!



HAHA!  LMFAO!!  Good one! 



I just couldn't stop laughing at this one.  What a dork! 

I hope this post was enjoyable for everyone.  I needed a few laughs and I got them! 

Until next time,

Apple

Monday, I Hate You!

Golly, I am tired as shit this morning.  The last thing in the world that I wanted to do when I woke up was get up, get ready and come to work.  Yet, here I sit.  I would have rather jumped out of an airplane (something I never really want to do) if that meant I could go home and climb back into bed for the rest of the day.  Unfortunately, my fairy Godmother didn't present me with that option this morning.  Fuck you, Fairy Godmother!!  Where are you when I need you?!

And the day rolls on.....

This past weekend was pretty stellar. 

Friday night after work I rode my bike, cooked some dinner and popped a squat on the couch with Dazzle and Neon to see who won America's Got Talent.  Supa went over to Jade's house to spend time with her husband the douche bag.  They did boy stuff like start a fire in the yard.  I don't understand why all men are pyros but whatever. 

The people that we wanted to win AGT, won.  WOO HOO!!  We cheered for them and I wished that I had bet money on the whole thing.  LOL


The Olate Dogs !!  The father said he had been training dogs and performing for 44 years.  He deserved it! 

After we got all excited over that, I got my second wind!  I wasn't tired and I didn't feel like sitting on the couch anymore so the kids and I went to Bilo at 10:30 PM.  Not a big deal for me but the kids were shocked!  LMAO!  Can we say sheltered?  Neon thought it was super amazing that we were almost the only ones in the store.  We got the things we needed and headed back home. 

We made plans with Super Bass and Patient Woman to hang out at their place on Saturday night to watch Gamecock football.  Supa and Jade were both going with me and the kids were staying home and having a sleepover with Cat Mama.  We were all really glad that she was feeling much better from her sinus infection that she had last weekend so she could come hang out.  

SO, I was planning on making some food to take over there.  I don't watch football and have never celebrated on game day so I heard that this was the thing to do.  Kind of like tailgating in the living room I guessed.....Since I had been to a Carolina/Clemson game and tailgating when I was about 12, I knew what I was getting myself into.  

When we got back from Bilo, I got busy.  I really wanted to get a head start on the food so I wouldn't have so much to do the next day. 

I decided to bake Neon some pumpkin muffins.  He loves everything pumpkin and he's been bugging me that it's FALL NOW so I can start making pumpkin stuff NOW.  LOL.  

Dazzle doesn't like pumpkin pie but she DID decide she liked my muffins.  :)  Yay!



Prep for the pasta salad and deviled eggs that were in the making....

Look at me being a good blogger and having my fucking camera at the ready!  Do it, Apple!

Completed pasta salad.  YUUUM!



Grama Darling's recipe deviled eggs.  This time with just the right amount of mustard (inside joke with Aunt Darling)

I baked, cooked and cleaned up my mess until about 1AM and then I was really tired!  Time to crash!

Saturday morning, I went with Dazzle to get our hair cut.  Neon stayed home with Supa (who was off the whole weekend, still recovering from his polyp hiatus - he returned to work today).  We left with our hair looking amazing and rode on over to Sally's Beauty Supply to pick out a new nail color.  We ended up with Pelican Gray (Yay!  I've been looking all over for gray!  Even the nail salon didn't have it) and black crackle polish.  You put the crackle over the polish color and it does exactly what it says, crackle.  LOL


Only a bad bitch posts her toes on her public blog.  :) 

Cat Mama painted my toes for me because they always look better when someone else does it for you.  Wahoo!


I painted my fingernails.  I don't know if I like the one different nail from the others but I originally did this just to test the crackle. 

I do know that I love the gray.  This isn't a great picture either...I've washed a few dishes before I took it and they did look better when they were freshly painted.  Here I go forgetting to take pictures at the right time....

Once we got home, I cut the grass.  It didn't rain much last week so it took me less time than usual.  (YAY - only 83 degrees but still felt hot as hell, damn SC)  Supa ran and got Subway for lunch (our ultimate favorite) while I washed the dirt and stank off of myself.  After lunch, I caught up on some Facebook and then got in my bed and took a good nap.  I had the feeling I was going to be up late that night and wanted to be in perfect form.


When you get a photo of this while you're still at work on Friday, you know it's going to be a fun Saturday night!  :)


Super Bass is spoiling us with the good, expensive shit!  LOL  She was letting us know that she had that beverage of choice covered. 

I got up from my nap, made chicken salad sandwiches, took my shower and got ready, went and picked up Jade and Cat Mama (so that Jade wouldn't have to driver herself home that night) and got the van packed up with food and drinks to head over to Super and Patient's house.

This was Jade's first time at their house so she got the grand tour and let all the pups sniff her out.  They were excited to see Supa and I again!  We put the food out and got some snacks...

What a nice spread!

Patient and Super made little smokey sausages, pigs in a blanket, brownies, cookies and Jade made her special buffalo chicken dip.  (I don't like it but everyone else seems to)  We had plenty to eat!!

I sat on the couch beside Super quietly while everyone else watched the game.  I was at the party and I have no idea who played against Carolina!  When I tell you that I know nothing about football, I mean it!  When Patient yelled at the TV, I did too.  When they all cheered, I looked up from my iPad and said, "Is it time to take a shot now?".  I played games, stalked Facebook and caught up on my reading.  I stayed quiet, nursing my drinks and didn't bother the football fans one bit I hope. 


Let's just say that the Gamecocks were doing really well and I was looking forward to getting pretty drunk.  Jade needed it with all the stress of her work situation. 

I loved the rule of 1 touchdown=1 shot.  My kind of party!  (PS, there is no peer pressure at this house, you drink at your own risk!)  Supa didn't drink a drop since he's on meds and was our designated driver for the night.  He drank quite a few Dr. Peppers though!
At some point, before super drunk sunk in, we took a couple of pictures of the pups...


Apparently, Duke can sleep through everything.  Even grown women (and one Supa) yelling at the TV over the  football game. 



Zoe was not sleeping at all!  She was watching for us to drop a snack on the floor.  LOL, silly girl!  It's going in our mouths!!

As usual, we had a ball.  We watched the game (well, you know, they did), Jade and I cleaned up the kitchen since I'm OCD about cleaning and couldn't even stand to look at the food mess without fixing it up a bit.  (It's more fun to clean when you're drunk anyhow)  I think someone said the Gamecocks scored 7 touchdowns (and I was thirsty in between) so you can imagine how HAPPY I was by the end of the night.  LOL.  We went outside and sat for a little bit and let the dogs out and then Supa drove our drunker than drunk asses home.  I remember laughing a bunch, trying to talk to Supa and look after Jade who had her chin on her chest and was ALMOST snoring.  LMAO!!  We dropped Jade off and went home where I promptly passed out in my bed.  Heehee!

Thanks again Super and Patience for a wonderful night and some awesome memories!! 

Now, I love football!  :)  GO COCKS! 

Sunday morning, I woke up with a headache.  Haha!  No hangover, just a headache.  Nothing that Excedrin Migraine couldn't handle!  Supa got up with me and drove me to the flea market to look for the movie guy.  No dice.  What a joke.  He took me to Walmart to get the movie that I was looking for.  No dice there either!  They were fresh out (of a movie that just came out this past week, losers!)  We bought it at Bilo and everyone is supposed to be coming over (not sure when yet) for a special screening at our house. 

I can't wait!  I just know it's going to be epic!!

We hung out at the house for most of the day.  Cat was entertaining the kids.  There was a bunch of fingernail and toenail painting going on while Neon watched a movie with Supa.  I took all the kids to the park to "play" on the equipment while I rode my bike around the track.  (I need to get a bike rack.  I can stuff my bike in the back of the van but it's not very fun and Supa usually has the van)  I now know that 12 laps = 7.25 miles.  Holy shit.  That's how many I did yesterday and I wasn't even going as fast as I could.  And it was FUN!  The best fun I've ever had while exercising has been on my bike.  I love it!  We will definitely be doing that again!

I took the kids to have Mexican for dinner.  Supa had another one of his episodes (that's what I'm calling his rude/mean behavior that stems from his shitty childhood) so we left him at the house to be mean by himself.  **BTW, I found a different therapist for him to go see that specializes in PTSD and trauma.   We had to postpone the appointment until next week due to him being sick but it can't come soon enough.** 

I hung out with the kids for the rest of the evening and caught up on the book I'm reading. 

Then, it was fucking Monday all over again!!!

Peace and chicken grease,

Apple Darling

200th Post!

Today is my 200th post!  WOW!  I can't believe I've had that much to talk about!  I was going to think up a really great 200th post story for today but the sleepy, at my desk feeling took over and I'm lucky to even stay in the upright position.  I'll keep thinking about what my next great story from the past will be, just not today.  ;)


I never thought it would go this far but I'm super glad that it did.

Thank you to everyone that has contributed to this blog and really helped make it what it is.  I wouldn't have very much to talk about if it wasn't for all the pictures, funnies and ideas that my great friends and family bring to the table.  I appreciate everyone and let's keep this fun thing going for 200+ more posts!

I remember telling my ex-friend Kitti Marmalade how much I wanted to start a blog (with her really) and she kept putting me off and saying stuff like "Yeah, that would be cool" with absolutely no motivation or follow through....I was sick of waiting on her and though her creative juices would have been awesome, I'm glad I went out on my own and got busy writing.  Because as an afterthought, we see how awesome her true colors really were....Didn't we?   This is an extra "kiss my ass"  shout out to you, Kitti.  I did all this without you.  Go me and fuck you!  Bahahahahaha!!  Keep reading, this shit is only going to get better.

Supa is feeling better today.  His stomach pains and cramps are getting fewer and farther apart.  I'm so glad he's starting to look and act like himself again.  I'm going to make sure he keeps taking his meds (he hates swallowing pills) and gets all the way well before he goes back to work on Monday. 

**************************************************************************************************
I've been gathering a few work funnies that I thought would be perfect for sharing....I hope everyone finds these as hilarious as I did.  (If I didn't laugh at work often, I wouldn't make it.)

I have to email members at work everyday because they submit questions online and someone has to answer those.  (Oh, lucky me!)  I came across a few awkward emails addresses....

**scmalenurse - LMAO!  I thought male nurses everywhere were made fun of...Why in the fuck would you make this your email address so even people that don't know you can laugh at you??

**soooosexxxy80 - Yes!  I swear, this lady was really 83 years old and there wasn't a damn thing sexy about her!  WTF?!

**skinsupa - He has no idea that this makes me think he wants to remove my husband's skin.  I laughed and laughed when I saw this one. 

I get the vibe that most people don't THINK when they make up an email address!  You usually give it to everyone!  For shame!!!

And how about this person that called in:

Member :  "I would like to transfer money from the minor savings to the checking account.  My daughter would like to take out some money"

Me:  "Okay, how much would you like to transfer?"

Member :  "$200.00"

I checked the age of the minor - 2 years old.  WHAT the fuck is a 2 year old going to do with $200??  Pay the light bill? 

SMDH!  These people are crazy!!  I swear, I couldn't make this shit up.

Yet another idiot caller (and to think these people drive cars beside us):

Idiot:  "I would like to become a member of the credit union.  How do I do that?"

Me:  "Are you a state employee?"

Idiot:  "Yeah, I get unemployment"

Me:  Crickets

Are you serious?  You don't work for the state!  You mooch off of it!  Get a fucking job and then call us back!  I almost had to laugh out loud on that one.  Thank God for the mute button on my phone. 

While we're on the subject of my job.....I applied for a position over on the other side of the room by Red...Loan Processor.  I don't think it would have been a pay raise but it would have given me experience working with loans and that couldn't hurt.  Long story short, I'm not getting the position.  The boss over there said that there are people in my department that have been here longer than I have that are hypothetically standing in line waiting for a position on that coveted side of the room.  I'm in line but not at the front.  Alrighty, I'll take that and I may or may not sit here waiting.  If another position opens up in another department that will benefit me, I might be gone before my number is up.  But, I'm not in a huge hurry.  We'll see what happens and I'll keep everyone posted. 

Jade got some terrible work news yesterday.  She has been working at the big cable company for 14 years and as of January of 2013, she will no longer have a job. 

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CRAZY WORLD COMING TO?

I mean, you work your ass off for a company (a big company with TONS of money, I might add) for a long time (to me, 14 years is forever!) and then they decide that they don't want to pay you your decent salary anymore so you're out the door!  OMG, Jade called me crying and I almost cried too.  (I didn't because it was my job at that moment in time to calm her down but Jesus that was hard - hearing your best friend sob is so hard to listen to without breaking down yourself.)  I reminded her that all was not lost.  She is young, smart, and very experienced and she WILL find another job and it will be better!  Everything does happen for a reason so we just need to turn this tragedy into a blessing!  She can still apply for positions within the company (I fucking wouldn't over my dead body!  I would be worried every single day for the rest of my career that they were going to lay me off again) and she has a few months to try to find employment elsewhere.  She's going to be fine.  I plan on doing everything in my power to help her as much as possible.  I made sure that she got home safely because she was upset and reminded her not to get suicidal on me.  Jade assured me that if she did feel like jumping off a bridge or running around in traffic, she would give me one opportunity to talk her out of it.  That's all I would need.  :) 

I love you, Jade!  You are so special to me and we WILL get through this! 

*******************************************************************************************************

Okay, no more work talk!  On to other more fluffy things:

My baby dog was sleeping on his Mama Apple the other night and I had to take a picture of his sleepy face!

He's so tired!!  He's been sleeping on me since he was a little puppy and I'm sure he'll be sleeping on me until he's an old fella.  He's warm and soft and I love holding him while he snores quietly.  :)

Uncle Darling sent this next picture to Dazzle and I almost choked on the water I was drinking when I saw this cute face!!

UM, WOW!  LOLOLOL!!  I love the toy!!

At least we know where we stand!  If it's humans or that toy, he's going with the toy!  We love you Harley!!  Uncle Darling says this is the only thing that will shut him up.  LMAO!

I found the time to paint my nails the new shade of purple that Dazzle, Neon and I picked out last weekend this week!  Love it!


What what!?!  They look hot pinkish in the sunlight and dark purple inside.  SUPER AWESOME!

 I'm obsessed with painting my nails and I plan to stay that way !  :)  It's pretty fun.

I'm going to close this post today with a super, amazing, mini story contributed by Super Bass.  I save the best shit for last. 

Super and Patient recently purchased a vacation home in the mountains (I can't wait to go hang out with them there!!!) and Super was on the web looking for awesome furniture for the new place.  She was perusing Craigslist when she came across something that sounded pretty cool:

Love chair....circa 1960, excellent condition

Okay, sounds great, sounds original...Perfect, right?!  Then she sent me the photo:


WHAT?!  Oh, my, fuck me!  It's a chair straight from a creepers house!!

I mean, this looks more like a sexual torture chair than a so called "love chair". 

BTW, the chair stayed right there where it was.  Super said she would pass on that one.  :)

I hope this teaches everyone a lesson about Craigslist and love chairs.

Happy Friday, you freaks!

Apple