200th Post!

Today is my 200th post!  WOW!  I can't believe I've had that much to talk about!  I was going to think up a really great 200th post story for today but the sleepy, at my desk feeling took over and I'm lucky to even stay in the upright position.  I'll keep thinking about what my next great story from the past will be, just not today.  ;)


I never thought it would go this far but I'm super glad that it did.

Thank you to everyone that has contributed to this blog and really helped make it what it is.  I wouldn't have very much to talk about if it wasn't for all the pictures, funnies and ideas that my great friends and family bring to the table.  I appreciate everyone and let's keep this fun thing going for 200+ more posts!

I remember telling my ex-friend Kitti Marmalade how much I wanted to start a blog (with her really) and she kept putting me off and saying stuff like "Yeah, that would be cool" with absolutely no motivation or follow through....I was sick of waiting on her and though her creative juices would have been awesome, I'm glad I went out on my own and got busy writing.  Because as an afterthought, we see how awesome her true colors really were....Didn't we?   This is an extra "kiss my ass"  shout out to you, Kitti.  I did all this without you.  Go me and fuck you!  Bahahahahaha!!  Keep reading, this shit is only going to get better.

Supa is feeling better today.  His stomach pains and cramps are getting fewer and farther apart.  I'm so glad he's starting to look and act like himself again.  I'm going to make sure he keeps taking his meds (he hates swallowing pills) and gets all the way well before he goes back to work on Monday. 

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I've been gathering a few work funnies that I thought would be perfect for sharing....I hope everyone finds these as hilarious as I did.  (If I didn't laugh at work often, I wouldn't make it.)

I have to email members at work everyday because they submit questions online and someone has to answer those.  (Oh, lucky me!)  I came across a few awkward emails addresses....

**scmalenurse - LMAO!  I thought male nurses everywhere were made fun of...Why in the fuck would you make this your email address so even people that don't know you can laugh at you??

**soooosexxxy80 - Yes!  I swear, this lady was really 83 years old and there wasn't a damn thing sexy about her!  WTF?!

**skinsupa - He has no idea that this makes me think he wants to remove my husband's skin.  I laughed and laughed when I saw this one. 

I get the vibe that most people don't THINK when they make up an email address!  You usually give it to everyone!  For shame!!!

And how about this person that called in:

Member :  "I would like to transfer money from the minor savings to the checking account.  My daughter would like to take out some money"

Me:  "Okay, how much would you like to transfer?"

Member :  "$200.00"

I checked the age of the minor - 2 years old.  WHAT the fuck is a 2 year old going to do with $200??  Pay the light bill? 

SMDH!  These people are crazy!!  I swear, I couldn't make this shit up.

Yet another idiot caller (and to think these people drive cars beside us):

Idiot:  "I would like to become a member of the credit union.  How do I do that?"

Me:  "Are you a state employee?"

Idiot:  "Yeah, I get unemployment"

Me:  Crickets

Are you serious?  You don't work for the state!  You mooch off of it!  Get a fucking job and then call us back!  I almost had to laugh out loud on that one.  Thank God for the mute button on my phone. 

While we're on the subject of my job.....I applied for a position over on the other side of the room by Red...Loan Processor.  I don't think it would have been a pay raise but it would have given me experience working with loans and that couldn't hurt.  Long story short, I'm not getting the position.  The boss over there said that there are people in my department that have been here longer than I have that are hypothetically standing in line waiting for a position on that coveted side of the room.  I'm in line but not at the front.  Alrighty, I'll take that and I may or may not sit here waiting.  If another position opens up in another department that will benefit me, I might be gone before my number is up.  But, I'm not in a huge hurry.  We'll see what happens and I'll keep everyone posted. 

Jade got some terrible work news yesterday.  She has been working at the big cable company for 14 years and as of January of 2013, she will no longer have a job. 

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CRAZY WORLD COMING TO?

I mean, you work your ass off for a company (a big company with TONS of money, I might add) for a long time (to me, 14 years is forever!) and then they decide that they don't want to pay you your decent salary anymore so you're out the door!  OMG, Jade called me crying and I almost cried too.  (I didn't because it was my job at that moment in time to calm her down but Jesus that was hard - hearing your best friend sob is so hard to listen to without breaking down yourself.)  I reminded her that all was not lost.  She is young, smart, and very experienced and she WILL find another job and it will be better!  Everything does happen for a reason so we just need to turn this tragedy into a blessing!  She can still apply for positions within the company (I fucking wouldn't over my dead body!  I would be worried every single day for the rest of my career that they were going to lay me off again) and she has a few months to try to find employment elsewhere.  She's going to be fine.  I plan on doing everything in my power to help her as much as possible.  I made sure that she got home safely because she was upset and reminded her not to get suicidal on me.  Jade assured me that if she did feel like jumping off a bridge or running around in traffic, she would give me one opportunity to talk her out of it.  That's all I would need.  :) 

I love you, Jade!  You are so special to me and we WILL get through this! 

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Okay, no more work talk!  On to other more fluffy things:

My baby dog was sleeping on his Mama Apple the other night and I had to take a picture of his sleepy face!

He's so tired!!  He's been sleeping on me since he was a little puppy and I'm sure he'll be sleeping on me until he's an old fella.  He's warm and soft and I love holding him while he snores quietly.  :)

Uncle Darling sent this next picture to Dazzle and I almost choked on the water I was drinking when I saw this cute face!!

UM, WOW!  LOLOLOL!!  I love the toy!!

At least we know where we stand!  If it's humans or that toy, he's going with the toy!  We love you Harley!!  Uncle Darling says this is the only thing that will shut him up.  LMAO!

I found the time to paint my nails the new shade of purple that Dazzle, Neon and I picked out last weekend this week!  Love it!


What what!?!  They look hot pinkish in the sunlight and dark purple inside.  SUPER AWESOME!

 I'm obsessed with painting my nails and I plan to stay that way !  :)  It's pretty fun.

I'm going to close this post today with a super, amazing, mini story contributed by Super Bass.  I save the best shit for last. 

Super and Patient recently purchased a vacation home in the mountains (I can't wait to go hang out with them there!!!) and Super was on the web looking for awesome furniture for the new place.  She was perusing Craigslist when she came across something that sounded pretty cool:

Love chair....circa 1960, excellent condition

Okay, sounds great, sounds original...Perfect, right?!  Then she sent me the photo:


WHAT?!  Oh, my, fuck me!  It's a chair straight from a creepers house!!

I mean, this looks more like a sexual torture chair than a so called "love chair". 

BTW, the chair stayed right there where it was.  Super said she would pass on that one.  :)

I hope this teaches everyone a lesson about Craigslist and love chairs.

Happy Friday, you freaks!

Apple