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| I'm embarrassed to say that I had to ask Uncle Darling WTF this was supposed to mean. LOL When he told me I felt MEGA stupid. LOL |
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| Bahahahahahahahaha! That's too funny! Me all day long!!! I am so not beyond pissing myself out of sheer joy! |
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| Because if you buy me a fake ass mood ring, you deserve to be pounded. Diamonds are the only stone that's acceptable. And don't you forget it! LOLOL! |
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| I mean, this shit is funny for quite a few reasons. First of all, fat chance guys! Our first date and you want me to blow you? I don't think so!!! Second of all, I love how the chick's legs look normal until she bends then and then they look like they belong to Miss Piggy herself. LOLOL!! AND why are the guys shoes so small? Are we blowing a midget or what??!! WEIRD but sweet concept! |
Two Women were chatting in the house. Woman 1: "I had sex last night, did you?"
Woman 2: "Yes."
Woman 1: "Was it good?"
Woman 2: "No, it was a disaster... My husband came home, ate his dinner
in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes,
rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?"
Woman 1: "Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a
romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home
he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We
then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked
for an hour. It was like a fairytale!"
- - - - -
At the same time, their husbands were talking at work. Husband 1:
" You wanted sex last night, how was it?"
Husband 2: "Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate,
screwed my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?"
Husband 1: "It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because
they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had
to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't
have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour --
and when we got home, remember there was no electricity, so I had to
light candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it
up for an hour and then I couldn't come for another hour. After I finally
did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was
jabbering away for another damn hour."
Woman 2: "Yes."
Woman 1: "Was it good?"
Woman 2: "No, it was a disaster... My husband came home, ate his dinner
in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes,
rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?"
Woman 1: "Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a
romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home
he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We
then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked
for an hour. It was like a fairytale!"
- - - - -
At the same time, their husbands were talking at work. Husband 1:
" You wanted sex last night, how was it?"
Husband 2: "Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate,
screwed my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?"
Husband 1: "It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because
they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had
to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't
have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour --
and when we got home, remember there was no electricity, so I had to
light candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it
up for an hour and then I couldn't come for another hour. After I finally
did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was
jabbering away for another damn hour."
I love how men and women think so damn opposite. I can't imagine it any other way!
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| Haha! Talk about a misplaced penis! LOLOLOL! |
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| Get over it! We do bitch. It is what it is. And you still love us!! |
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| LOL! Run little rat, run!!! :) |
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| I have seen this one before but it's so damn funny, I went through and read them all out loud again! |
That's all from Uncle Darling. I found ONE gem this week:
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| Probably Justin Timberlake you stupid bitch!!! LMFAO!!!! |
And, a few funnies from my boss, who has no idea she is contributing to the delinquency that is Apple at work:
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| It's always good to know the password. LOL |
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| Sounds like Dazzle and Neon. Totally on each other's nerves. |
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| I had to look twice to realize this wasn't a kitty. Haha! |
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| That is one cold ass kitty!!! Poor funny looking freak! Teehee!! |
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| Haha! Milk that shit for all it is worth before the old hag can see again! Good job boys! |
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| This is creepy as shit! HA! |
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| AWWWWW! LOL! Someone help that poor thing.... |
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| Even kitties hate the feeling of stepping in cow poop. |
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| LOL! Eat those kitti brains you cute bald baby zombie!! |
Laters,
Apple
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