Monday? UGH!

Happy Monday, folks!  (HA, I don't fucking think so.)  I couldn't be more unhappy that it's Monday but it is so I'm rolling with it.  I usually never post on Monday's because I'm too tired and crabby but you're in for a special treat today.  A SUPER smart ass Monday post is in the making!  I will be away from my desk Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday this week for some cross department training (I couldn't care less what goes on in other departments but whatever).  They said I have to go so I'm going.  I'm dragging my feet, kicking and screaming but I'm going.  The only good part about all of it is that I'll be at our main branch and that is where Lolly and Nearly are!!  Thank god!  A reason to go to work for the next 3 days!  I'm pretty excited because we get to have lunch together and that always makes for a good time!

Well, FML or his life for that matter.  I guess the little birdie is having a shitty Monday with the rest of us.  When I was thinking of finding a "lunchtime" photo, this isn't exactly what came to mind.  Ha!  This is the perfect opportunity for me to remember that if I think I have it bad, I should focus on someone else who has it worse.  I'm such a complainer, especially on Monday's.

I did have a good weekend.  I stayed in my PJ's all day long on Saturday.  I only left my house once in the morning to run to the store for a couple of things we just couldn't live without.  Supa worked all day.  Dazzle and Neon stayed by my side through every second of the time I was laying on the couch.  LOL, they love days like that.  We caught up on our Gordon Ramsey obsession.  We watched the finale of Hell's Kitchen and the premier of the new season of Kitchen Nightmares.  When we were done drooling over our man we decided that we wanted to watch a movie to further prolong getting off of the couch so we popped in Tangled and it was SO good!!  I loved it!  It ranked right up there with Beauty and the Beast  and The Little Mermaid (for me at least).  It made me laugh, cry and wish I was a princess.  What else could you ask for??

Okay, first of all, I'm really glad that's not my slinky cause if it was I'd be PISSED.  Second of all, COME ON Google Images!  When I typed in Tangled, why did you give me a slinky?  REALLY?  DO BETTER!



Okay, that's much better Google Images.  I knew you could do it!

Anyhow, yes the movie was amazing.  Supa came home from work and cooked us dinner and my Saturday was complete.  :) 

Sunday I woke up to Supa cooking waffles for breakfast (real ones people, not toaster ones) and I just knew it was going to be a great day.  I put my contacts in and I was ready to face the rest of my weekend! 

Supa took me to the dumpster for coupons as usual.  That took about 5 minutes.  Then we went to Party City to look for some zombie stuff for Neon's 9 year old birthday!!  He is super excited about his zombie theme and we're going to do our best to make it memorable!  If you're invited and you don't show up dressed as a zombie, you might as well turn that shit around at the door  because it's definitely a requirement!  Get it together!  You're only 9 once and we're trying to make it the coolest party ever!  Oh, I can't wait!  We found some really cool stuff and had so much fun together in the process. 

Uh, oh Neon....I don't think you knew what you were getting yourself into when you asked THESE parents to throw you a zombie party.  Teehee!!

I won't tell just yet what we found for the party.  I will take lots of pictures at the party to post afterwards.  After that, Supa took me to Halloween Express.  It was also a fun trip full of tomfoolery.  The whole time we were gone I kept telling Supa to read me the packages because I couldn't see.  Everything was blurry and I thought it was just because my eyes seemed a little swollen.  He thought it was kinda weird but he read the packages anyway.  

Everything kinda looked like this except maybe even a tad worse....WTF?!


We ran to Arby's to get the kids sandwiches for lunch, took them back to the house and ate together.  Then we left the kids home one more time and ran to Walmart to look for birthday presents.  (Another thing I won't reveal right now.)  We went back home and the night pretty much went as usual, nothing overly special.

Supa and I watched X-Factor until we both fell asleep on the couch.  Supa woke me up and told me to go get in the bed which I obeyed with no problems.  He stayed up to let the dogs out and just after I fell asleep I get woken up to the BRIGHT overhead light being turned on and my husband cursing for all he was worth.  Apparently, SOMEONE got on our bed and decided that was a good place to take a piss.  WTF?!  EVERYONE is potty trained at our house now.  It took many years and I know that our newest addition isn't perfect and has accidents but ON OUR BED?!  Supa was UBER pissed off and he wasn't being very quiet about it.  After the sheets were stripped and we were finally in bed, well, the last time I peeked at the clock it was 1:35 am.  WAY, WAY past my bedtime!!!

This is about what Supa looked like when he noticed he just laid in dog pee.  Those dogs better heed this warning!

SO, I woke up this morning at 6:30 instead of 6:00.  Neon had to hurry up and get ready for school so I could take him in my moo moo.  (Not exactly what you want your mother to be seen in at the school...I wore my hoodie over it so I could look normal from the waist up)  I am usually showered and dressed for work by this time but there was no way I was going to be ready on time this morning.  I drove Neon the entire 1 mile to school and I swear, I COULD NOT SEE.  Vision still blurry as fuck, I got back home and got ready as fast as I could.  That was the fastest shower of my life.  I decided that I just couldn't stand my eyes anymore so I took both my contacts out and rinsed them to death.  I popped them back in and they seemed a little better. 

I went into the kitchen where Dazzle already had a bagel in the toaster for me.  She knew I was running really late and she was helping.  (sweet honey!)  I threw my shoes on, grabbed my lunch, checked to make sure the dogs had food and put cream cheese on my bagel.  I poured my milk and I set my breakfast on the table.  Dazzle said, "You have time to eat, Mama, if you hurry!"  so I sat my food down on the table and I clicked on the hanging light over the table.  RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT.....The fucking light bulb exploded in a million pieces.  It sounded like a gun shot and it freaked us both out!  We both squealed!  There sat my bagel with a nice fat chunk of light bulb in it.  It was everywhere.  On the floor, on the table, under the table.  Thankfully, it was not on us which is what I was really worried about.  We were standing right under it!

I guess this is what is what it looks like in slow motion.  What a fucking mess it makes!!!

I was so frustrated and pissed off at this point I was like FUCK IT.  I AM eating my bagel and drinking my milk.  I took the huge chunk of glass off of the bagel and took the first bite.  Well, I guess glass doesn't really play around because I could feel the glass grinding in my teeth.  YOWSA!!!  I spit that out real quick.  The milk and the bagel got sent down the sink and I gave up.  I did not get to eat breakfast on this particular day.  **SIGH**


Did I get to enjoy what looked like this??  Hells no I sure didn't.  Fuck fuck fuckity fuck DAMNIT! 

 I got Dazzle to school on time.  I got to work on time.  I don't know how since my vision was right back to blurry again.  I couldn't see a damn thing.  I got to work and I made it inside without any harm coming to me.  (AMAZING!)  I sat down at my desk and took one look at my computer and I was like I CAN NOT SEE!  I didn't know what I was going to do but I knew I couldn't sit through the entire day like that SO, I did a Winnie the Pooh.  "Think" "Think" "Think". 

FINALLY I thought, "What if my contacts are in the wrong eyes??".  I took them both out, set them on my desk, rinsed them off with Visine from my purse and popped them both in the opposite eye.  GUESS WHAT?!  I'm a fucking genius and I had them in the wrong eyes MOST OF THE WEEKEND.  What a loser.  For the next hour of work, I sat at my desk and heard, "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone" By: Johnny Nash playing over and over again in my head.  Thankfully the mystery was finally solved!

I'm pretty sure this is what I looked like at work this morning and for most of the day.  (Minus the coffee mug because anyone that knows me, knows that I don't drink that nasty shit!!!)

I can't believe I even got this entry accomplished today based on how my day started.  Like I said earlier, I will be MIA until Friday so hopefully I will have something interesting to report by then. 

Apple

The Jig Is Up

According to my calculations, (and trust, they have been wrong before) it has been about 2 1/2 weeks since I have spoken to Kitti or Ace at all.  (I know...Everyone that knows us is like REALLY are you SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!  Yes, really and seriously right now!!) 

Yep, I feel like too much time has been wasted wondering what is going on and I'm pretty sure now it's too late. 

Let me just start by stating the obvious:

#1:  I love Kitti and Ace.  Excuse me, WE love them both.  Supa, Dazzle, Neon, Jade, Lolly....everyone.  I have been friends with Kitti since 2002.  Almost 10 years!  Ace, well, going on 5 years I think.  To me, that friendship length is pretty significant.  It's not like we were just kinda friendly.  We were tight.  Coven remember?

I mean, we hadn't even had time to do weird shit like this together yet!

#2:  Being this tight, nothing should split us up.  It shouldn't matter.  Whatever dumb shit happened that people can't get over should be totally irrelevant.  How the hell are you friends with someone for 10 years and you talk to them several times every single day and then all of a sudden you don't?  It's like they died or just dropped off the face of the planet or something.  I'm so dumbfounded.  Okay, so assuming they are not dead and are still living on planet earth...WTF is going on?!   Is someone standing over them holding a gun to their heads telling them that if they contact me they will meet their maker??  I can't imagine that is what's going on but since it really doesn't make sense, what am I supposed to think?  If that is the case, please someone SOS for help or something!  I will send the bandwagon to come and rescue them instantly!  (Woe is me, cause that doesn't seem possible.)

Is this the case?!  Do they need my help? 
I will kill a mother fucker if they are holding them captive and refusing to let them contact us! 

News flash:  I just want to reiterate that I seriously doubt they are being held captive.  This theory just isn't working for me.

#3:  Banishment.  Only one word needed.  Let's see what Google says the definition for banishment is...Hmmmmm...... 

1. a casting out from social or political society

2.  the state of being banished or ostracized (excluded from society by general consent)

Go ahead, talk to the flaming hand because you're been banished.

Okay, well now that we've cleared that up, I have in fact banished people from our family's lives before.  A few times in fact.  We've had issues with people in the past.  (We can talk about those wonderfully entertaining stories during another episode.)  I can't imagine HOW because when I decide that I would mutually like to be friends with people I sit them down and let them know to their face that I am a serious friend.  I am a grown up with grown up responsibilities and if they can't handle a grown up friendship not only with me but also with my family, (BECAUSE I'M A PACKAGE DEAL BIOTCH!) they need to take it somewhere else.  Down the road, away from us.  

No caption necessary!!

I don't have time for childish bullshit.  I have other friends who would love some extra special alone time with me.  I don't know if people don't take me seriously or what the problem may be but I'm not playin'.  I literally have no time to waste on people who are not committed to being a real friend and who cannot realize that it takes a great deal of effort.  Marriage isn't easy and neither is true friendship.  It's a great give and take.  It cannot be one sided.  And so on - blah blah.  I could talk about what makes a great friend all day long.  That's not the point.  The point is, if you can't be a great friend and put in the time and effort that it requires, tell me at the beginning so my time and your time will not be wasted.  

Do what Carl Thomas says!!  Just talk about it.  If you can't handle it, let me know!!  I am a big girl and I CAN TAKE IT! 

So my question now...My next theory is......I MYSELF have been banished!  They just don't like me anymore! 

My breath stinks? (sometimes)

I'm a bitch?  (usually)

I am full of drama and craziness? (who isn't part of the time?)

I mean, the list of reasons why someone might all of a sudden decide that they don't like me could be never ending!!  The part that kills me is what did Jade do?  Her breath is usually always minty fresh, she's hardly ever a bitch and her drama is usually kept pretty quiet.....Hmmmmm...Another dead end.  

Now I'm really lost and confused.  Where do I go from here?

So, to finish off this entry that seems to be full of gloom and doom....The end result?  Well, I think the only result I can see is that we're done.  The coven as we know it is over.  From 5 down to 3.  The friendship dead.  (UNLESS they really are being held captive somewhere and therefore, all of these words and the last 2 1/2 weeks were for nothing.  I fucking wish)

We're officially breaking up.  It's just like a relationship with a boy that went bad.  I need you to return my house keys and get my cardboard box of belongings together so we can trade our material stuff back to where it belongs.  Sad isn't it.  I seriously think so. 


I like the lop sided sad face because hell, no one is perfect.

I would like to leave you with these parting words:

***I KNOW THAT YOU'RE READING THIS KITTI.  I KNOW THAT YOU'RE CHECKING UP ON ME.  IF YOU TRY TO SAY YOU'RE NOT, I WON'T BELIEVE YOU ANYHOW AND EVEN THOUGH ACE DOESN'T HAVE THE INTERNET, YOU'RE GOING TO SHOW HER IF THERE IS SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SHOW.   I KNOW YOU ALL TOO WELL TO THINK ANYTHING DIFFERENT.***

Just making sure I have your full attention now because I only plan on saying this ONCE.

To My Dear Kitti:

We've been friends for a long, long time.  If you're tired of me, I can see that.  I'm insane, end of story.  I would really like to know what I did to offend you so badly so that I can better understand what happened.  I still have no clue what it was that pissed you off or hurt your feelings so badly that you would never want to talk to me again.  I'm so confused.  An email, text message, letter by mail or fax...Whatever you want...If you don't want to talk to me...That's OK too. 

Did I sleep with your man and I just can't remember? 

Did I take one of your cats hostage? 

Did I bitch slap your Mom? 

Maybe I did and I was just too drunk to remember (Not that I get that drunk but who the fuck knows?!  Crazier things have happened!) 

Whatever the issue is, I'm appalled that you haven't told me so that we could work it out.  AND if it's unworkable, just break up with me.  No excuse in the world would matter to me at this point.  If you don't want to TALK to me, just text me and tell me you don't like me anymore.  All this avoiding me and my family is for the BIRDS.  It's dumb and unrealistic.  Childish and retarded.  I'm really going to need some closure.  I can't be thinking about you for the rest of my life every single time I hear "that song", see "that movie" or read "that book series" (yet again for the millionth time).  I just can't.  It's totally not healthy for me. 

I have loved you long time and I will keep you safe in my heart where no one can be hurt any longer but I do hope that you contact me in some form.  I would very much appreciate it.  We are going to need to make arrangements to exchange stuff.   DVD's, house keys....Whatever else we have of each other's.....I'm sure I can get a middle man to help us out if you don't want to see me. 

Okay, I guess that's about it.  

Well, that was sorta awkward.....FML!

Last but never least....Ace.  Here are some parting words for you:

I am more hurt and pissed off at you then I have ever been at Kitti.  Ever. 

I fully, reasonably and rationally understand that you have been friends with Kitti since you were a baby.  I get that.  Really I do.  I was also under the impression that you were MY friend too.  Apparently I have been very misinformed.  Unless you are also mad at me for some reason also unknown to me.....YOU were NEVER my friend.  Something (and I tell you again I don't even know WHAT?!) made Kitti mad at me or upset or whatever and now YOU aren't talking to me or hanging out with me or anything.....

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Since when is that supposed to happen?  So, in other words, correct me if I'm wrong here....You are only friends with me and talking to me when Kitti is friends with me and talking to me.  Right?!  Because if I'm wrong and you're not being held captive....

WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!

I didn't have a problem with Kitti at the beginning of all this and I never had a problem with you either so.....Please, please, help me understand your thought process. 

You can't blame me.  Really you can't.  I assume that since you're not speaking with me and I didn't do anything to you, it's only on Kitti's behalf.  What a crock of shit.  Go ahead and side with your friend if you want to but in the process, lose another.  Makes a real shit ton of sense, let me tell you.  If Kitti and Jade had some kind of problem with each other, I sure as fuck wouldn't take sides.  I would tell them both to put on their big girl pants and get over it!  Maybe just maybe, I would HELP the situation instead of making it worse.  UNLESS I didn't want Jade and Kitti to be friends anymore.  In that case, I would do exactly what you're doing now. 

Wow.  No worries.  If that is what you were going for, you got it!


In all actuality, you didn't accomplish a damn thing.  All you did was alienate a whole group of friends.  Great job.

Okie Dokie!  I think I'm done now!  I could say SO much more but I can't!!  I'm tired of hearing my own fingers typing!  I feel so much better and now that I've said what I need to say, let's enjoy the damn weekend!!  It's going to be a good one! 

Apple

Work Is Officially Killing Me Today!

Oh, wow.  The phone has been ringing off the hook at work today!  I understand I work in a call center and I should be used to the phone ringing by now but damnit....This is insane!!  RING! RING! RING!  RIGHT NOW IN FACT!  Hold please.  

Trust, people say VERY stupid things. 

Okay, I'm finally back.  Geez.  What a day.  I'm so ready to go home at this point and I have a few hours left still!  The only reason I'm typing right this very minute is that I'm at LUNCH!  Yep, I ran to Wally World for a few things I needed and now I'm back at my desk, clocked out, like a loser, just chillin'.  I knew I wouldn't get much blogging done today if I didn't work on it during lunch.  It's just one of those damn days I guess. 

Red Lady is really good at helping me keep my sanity throughout the day.  Sometimes she can't hear me because she has both her ears plugged up with one device or another so I have to bang on the wall between us or call her so she'll pay me some attention....LOL.  We rant and rave to each other about how wrong it was for man to decide that the work week would be 5 days and 40 hours long...Like who the fuck decided that?  We want to cut him (cause no woman would have came up with something so dumb, if it was up to us, an average work week would be 20 hours and 3 days long, for the same pay of course :)

Because if the work week was shorter, we wouldn't look like this all the time!

But for the most part, we remind each other that we shouldn't be complaining because at least we have jobs and good jobs at that!  I can't explain to you how many times a week Red says, "Hey, what you watchin' over there" and vice versa because we are FOREVER watching TV in between calls!  How many people do you know that can watch TV at work?  We need to remind each other how fortunate we are instead of complaining.  Yep, Red and I will get right on that.  Ha!  Tomorrow we'll have to remind each other of this when the first phone call of the day pisses us off.  

Red, we're going to have to work on this.  It's not good for us OR the people on the other end of the phone. 

I also wanted to explain the comment I made yesterday about not feeling like blogging earlier this week.  Monday was.....Well, it was Monday and I was pretty much in a sleepy fog all day.  Tuesday I was arguing with Supa all day long because sometimes we like to act like childish, stupid, douchbags marriages have issues.  So, I was kinda weepy all day long.  For me, I almost never, ever cry so when I do start crying, I usually can't stop for an extended period of time.  That is exactly how Tuesday went.  I cried at my desk on and off all day.  (As quietly as possible because I didn't want Red to hear me through the wall.  I did not feel like explaining my slobber) 

Wow, this is so not a good representation of what I look like but you get the point right?  I was fucking crying all day.  I just could not get it together.  I was holding my breath in between calls so the members wouldn't think they dialed the wrong number and had just reached someone at Three Rivers (the crazy hospital, people).

So, I went home and Supa was at work (thank God because we both needed an adult time out) and I had to cook dinner.  Not my favorite thing to do but I can usually pull something edible off.  I already had it planned out that I was making this chicken with macaroni and cheese thing....Sounds easy enough right?  I put it all together (Still holding my damn breath because Dazzle and Neon did not need to see me crying) and stuck it in the oven.  30 minutes later, I took it out and everything looked normal.  Time to eat!  We sat down at the table and I put the green beans on everyones plates...Next I reached in there to get a piece of chicken for Dazzle and turned it over AND.....RAW FUCKING CHICKEN.  WHAT?  The noodles were cooked, the cheese was cheesy and the top was nice and brown but the chicken was stone cold raw!  I didn't know what to do so I did the only thing I could do at this point,  I dropped my facade and began BAWLING over raw chicken.  Damnit.  I just couldn't hold it in any longer.  The chicken was the thing that broke me that day.

Who the hell wants to eat this for dinner??  Wonderful!  The chicken kicked my ass.

Honestly, I didn't know what to do!!  I figured if I put it back in the oven it would be ruined because the noodles would come out mushy, cheese would be burnt and topping inedible.  OH BUT THE DAMN CHICKEN WOULD BE COOKED.  I was about to throw the whole thing in the trash and take the kids to Burger King when I decided I needed to take a minute to go in the bathroom and contain myself.  SO, 10 tissues and 1 pep talk later, I reentered the kitchen and threw that shitty shit back in the oven! 


Do not play with me oven.  I have children to feed!

I know this sounds crazy but after I got off of my hands and knees from my sobbing excursion, I threw myself on the couch and started watching Hells Kitchen.  Nothing like making yourself feel better by watching others fuck up and get screamed at.  (At least no one screamed at me)  After waiting an ungodly amount of time for the damn chicken to cook, I went back in there and removed said chicken from the oven, cut it all open (honestly, it looked like a very angry person took a cleaver to the damn bird) and made sure that shit was cooked.  It finally was and we sat down and ate it.  Well, it wasn't that bad, noodles weren't overcooked like I imagined they would be, the cheese was still kinda cheesy, it was a little dry overall but I could live with it.  Neon and Dazzle were trying to cheer me up so they were talking about it like it was prime rib or Fillet Mignon or something.  LOL.  Good job guys but I know it's not great.  BUT IT AIN'T RAW ANYMORE EITHER!  HA! 

PS:  I just can't use ain't without adding a side note....

***Side note, I know AIN'T is improper.  :O  I use it anyway because I can!***

Google images, you never stop amazing me.  I typed in triumphant and this is what I got.  An ugly ass picture of Kristen Stewart.  Wonderful.  I decided to run with it because I could get an easy Twilight reference out of it.  KStew is TRIUMPHANT (as hell) because she gets Robert Pattinson penis every single night!  Oh yeah, I said it!  WOOT!


That's about all I have to give today folks.  I have some serious issues ready to talk about tomorrow so stay tuned....

Apple

Happy Wednesday!!

I do love me some Wednesday!!  It's hump day for most people but for me it's "COUPONING DAY!"  The new sales start on Wednesday around here so that is the day that I make my plan of shopping action.  Fun stuff!  I love my totally out of hand and huge little hobby!  (JK, mostly) 


Has anyone seen the episode of John and Kate Plus 8 where she yells at John, "DID YOU USE A COUPON FOR THAT??!!" That is so me!  :)  Supa, may the force be with you.

 I'm thinking I need to do an update on this past weekend.  I'm sorry I didn't bother to blog on Monday or Tuesday this week....I was just not in the fucking mood to be creative or snarky.  I was in one pissy hell of a mood for the most part....We'll touch on that subject later.

I did have my yard sale.  I let the kids sleep in for a little tiny while but they were up and helping just after the sun came up.  (Sweet babies!!)  The weather was not optimal.  It was cloudy, cold (yeah, right...It doesn't really get cold here but let it be 60 degrees and you would have thought it was about to blizzard by the way people were talking) and rainy almost all day.  It misted a few times but we didn't actually get rained out so for that I am thankful.  

Thankfully, God did not allow this on this past Saturday.  Thank you sweet Jesus!!

We didn't have any weird-OS but for us that is a miracle.  I had one very old man stop and buy a few of Supa's shirts and he stood there and talked to me for about 20 minutes about how he could tell from hearing me talk that I wasn't from here.  (GREAT EAR!)  Once I mentioned Chicago, he was on a roll about all the times he had been there during his time in the service.  What a sweet old man!  Good times, good times.  

I also had one young guy that stopped, came over and looked at all the kids toys and clothes and said, "Do you have any military stuff?".  UM, SIR, does it look like I have any military stuff?  You mean, guns and knives and medals?  OR WHAT?  I have kids stuff sir.  Wow.  He obviously didn't buy anything. 

Overall, we didn't do too bad.  I made $65.00 and even though that was under my goal amount, I can't complain.  That was the very first time of my entire life that I didn't NEED the money.  (Did I really just say what I think I said???  Yes, I fucking did!)  It was a little bit of work but nothing that I couldn't handle.  It was a good time just as I predicted it would be and Jade did stop by with her little Bean.

                                               ********PAUSE FOR SIDE STORY!**********
When Jade was pregnant with her youngest child, she went to have an ultrasound very early.  She brought the ultrasound picture home to show me and said, "Look at the baby!"  I pretty much said, "That's not a damn baby!  It looks just like a lima bean!"  So, her son, whose name is really the first name of a Real World cast member (see past blog for that story) will forever be called Bean by his Aunt Apple. 
                                   ************END OF SIDE STORY!  GAME ON!***************

Bean ran around the front yard for a little bit with Dazzle and Neon while we talked and then off they went!  They didn't even buy a damn thing!  LOL, probably an 1/8 of the stuff came from Jade in one way or another anyhow. 

My friend came to keep us company again like he said he would and he was a huge help when it came to tearing everything down and hauling it off to His House because let me tell you, when we were done, I was tired!  Pooped out!  All I know is that His House got a bunch of really good shit.  

Whoever mans Google Images needs to get a clue.  I just typed in "really good stuff" and I got this picture.  WTF?!  Hey, you can't say  I didn't try!  And maybe he does have really good stuff but I don't want to know about it!! 
TMI people, TMI!!!

I did make it in time to get my hair cut.  And I must say, it looks fucking awesome.  I just couldn't be any happier with it.  I hated my hair for so long and now I love it.  I never knew the answer would be to cut it all off!  Who would have thunk?!  Thank you Aunt Darling...As this was mostly your doing. 

Then I went home and tried to take a nap. (Haha very funny) It just wasn't meant to be.  I laid on the couch for like 1 hour drifting in and out of consciousness.  Not very restful to say the least. 

I wish I was snoozing like this...not quite. 

Then I got up, threw a frozen pizza in the oven for Dazzle and Neon and got my butt in the shower.  I had to get ready for Lolly and her new man to come over!  Supa walked in the door shortly after and we were ready for our company!    He's still going to be unnamed as of right now but new dude seemed pretty cool.  He was kind of quiet but not freakishly so.  I'm sure he was nervous as hell but he got off really easy this time.  I hadn't seen Lolly in like 2 weeks, Jade was there and so was Nearly Perfect so he didn't get much of my attention.  I was too excited to talk to my girls for him to matter too much!  The football game was on so for most of the time he was inside with Supa, glued to the TV.  He did seem really nice, very country and laid back which suits me just fine.  

I can't wait for football season to be over with!  I hate it!  I just don't understand football very much so I don't like it and I get tired of hearing everyone talk about it non-stop.  SO ANNOYING!

Anyhow, he got lucky this time because I was busy but next time, he won't be so lucky.  I will whip him with my words of warning and we'll see how he comes across then.  LMAO!

It was a really fun time.  I love my friends and I'm glad they got to come hang out.  What a great mini-party. 

Sunday was just as rad.  Gamestop for Supa, Dazzle and Neon (I even went inside!  Even if it was just to financially supervise.)  Red Lobster with my loves.  ENDLESS SHRIMP BABY!  Oh, my, it was good.  Then we were off to Best Buy where I added a $6.99 movie to my collection.  3 Men and A Baby that also came with 3 Men and a Little Lady!  What a steal!  Then it was back home again to relax or so I thought.....Supa, Dazzle and Neon decided it was going to be an XBox kind of afternoon and I just wasn't up for that. So I called up Jade and we decided to get out and about for a little while.  

This picture totally cracks me up.  I promise, we mostly behaved on this past Sunday. 
I would not disappoint the Negro community, ever!  Think Jerry Maguire.  I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE! 

We went to a couple of thrift stores, one open, one not.  I did get a few things for the kids that were a great deal and loads of fun finding.  Jade and I can have the BEST time together in a thrift store.  We laughed our asses off.  We went by the dumpster to steal our usual coupons for the week, came up with nothing except one Danskin exercise jacket that I personally think ended up in the dumpster by accident especially since there is nothing in our dumpster except for paper and the fact that there was nothing wrong with this jacket!  I took it right home, put it in the washer and then when it was done, examined every square inch of it and NOTHING!  It was like brand new!  Fit perfectly too!  It must have been my lucky day!


Yep, this very one.  Nice!!  I always wanted one and I just got one for FREE out of a dumpster!  HOORAH!

 We also ran by the flea market to visit our favorite movie guy but he must have went home early because he was no where to be found.   We ran by Walgreen's and then it was time to take it to the house.  I was tired and ready to chill.  Nearly ended up coming over and hanging out with us for awhile after dinner and we had our usual great time spending quality time together. 

That was about how the weekend went down.  Nice and awesome as usual.  Stay tuned for more amazingness tomorrow!!

Apple

My First Love, The Weekend Is Almost Here!!

Don't get me wrong, this is one of the most gay pictures I have ever seen but I do give them props for recognizing that God needs to be thanked for Friday's.  Who the fuck thought of taking this picture this way??!! 
What photographer let this go on?

Any-who-ha, time to be happy about Friday finally being here!  This weekend is no exception to all the other weekends, whatever it may bring, I'm going to love it.  I mostly know what I'm doing....

Tomorrow morning I am getting up at the ungodly hour (on a weekend day at least) of 6:00 am and I am hauling all that yard sale shit out to the front lawn ONE LAST TIME to see if we can sell any of it to people who need good, cheap stuff.  I have my change ready to go, my stuff marked and priced and I'm just READY!  My goal is $100.  If I make that, I'll be really happy.  Supa has to work all day so I thought I was going to be on my own UNTIL I remembered that Dazzle and Neon owe me since I gave birth to them (Neon especially since it was an all natural birth and he was as big as a 10lb turkey!!).  

Imagine squeezing this out of your vagina (minus the vegetables and side dishes)...It feels a lot bigger than it looks! 

SO, much to their disdain, I will be waking my beautiful, extremely helpful children up at the crack of dawn with me.  I'm kidding, actually Neon insisted that I wake him up so he can supervise what goes out and that I'm charging a fair price for his stuff.  LOL.  Dazzle said, "Please, please, Mama, don't wake me up unless you really need my help."  HA!  I definitely am going to need it!  She can take a nap later :)

I'm going to work on the yard sale until we sell everything (haha, I wish) or until I get sick and tired of sitting out there.  My friend that came to visit me last week is coming again this week...Squeee!  So glad to have a volunteer to keep me company....Hey, there are WEIRD-OS out there and I'm inviting them into my yard!  Nearly Perfect might come by and throw some of her stuff out on my lawn or just keep me company.  Jade will probably mosey on by at some point I'm sure.  I'm expecting it to be a really good time.   

I'm expecting it to be fun but maybe not THIS much fun.  HEHE

Then I'm going to do my best to put my hair first and go get a damn haircut before Supa gets home (at 5pm) since I am beginning to look like a shaggy dog.  My hair is really, really short like in a Pixie haircut and when it starts to grow out, it looks like total shit.  In that case, I have to go get it cut hmmm....about every 6 weeks.  I go to the Paul Mitchell school and let them experience cutting really short dos and I only have to pay $10.00!  Sweet!  I absolutely love going there because they are so nice and they really do their very best.  

Getting a haircut is important because this is NOT the look I go for!

After my hair cut, I am planning on going home to take a nap but who knows if that will actually happen.  Sometimes, much to my unhappiness, naps fall through.  I have to get some sort of rest because after dinner, the party will begin!  Well, we're not having a formal party...(thank God, those are a lot of work!) but I am having company :) 

Lolly is coming over and bringing her new boyfriend over to meet us for the first time (we'll leave him nameless for now to see if he sticks around long enough to require a bloggy name).  Nearly Perfect is coming over to hang out with us and check out the new dude.  She might bring her new boyfriend but we're leaving him nameless for now too.  You see, these dudes have to EARN their bloggy names.  (I'm such a stuck up bitch, har har)  Of course Jade is coming over, because it's Saturday night and 12 headless horses couldn't keep her away she wants to check out the new dude too and I don't think she's met Nearly's new friend yet either....  

Well, I couldn't find 12 but this one is really good at pretending.  LOL  He wishes he was a famous headless horse!  
He's going to get a cramp in his neck if he doesn't calm it down!  He won't stop Jade and neither will 12 more just like him.  It's my house on a Saturday night!!  She'll be there.

That should be an interesting night of fun.  I'll ask Mr. Worthy or not so fucking worthy depending on how the night goes and how he decides to treat my sista a whole bunch of questions that your Mama would normally ask and see if I can feel him out for bad vibes...or good ones if he should be so lucky.  I'm sure he will LOVE being put on the spot in some strangers home with everyone staring at him.  You better get used to us buddy because we're not going anywhere and this is how we roll.  We have to know that Lolly is safe and you're not some serial killing animal torturer or baby slayer.  People these days are CRAZY!  

There are crazy people in the world that look like this.....



And then there are also crazy people who look like this.....

And then, there are also crazy people out there that look completely normal.  These are the really scary ones because you don't know who to look out for!  So, Lolly, you will have some help with this new guy.  I'm pretty excited.  It's going to be a great time. 

Sunday, Sunday...Do I have plans on Sunday already....OH!  Yes, I sure do!  Heehee!  I'm spending the day with my beautiful little family!  Supa is off, WOO HOO!  We are taking the kids to Red Lobster to eat some yummy food for lunch (I think we decided to go for lunch) and then we are going to run a few errands.  I know Supa had a game in mind that he wanted to go look for and I think he's going to want to go look around Best Buy for a little bit (his favorite place to be).  Who knows what else we'll get into but I'm pretty excited for the weekend as a whole.  I'm sure I'll see Nearly on Sunday at some point too.  She just moved pretty much down the road from us and I'm glad that we will get to spend more quality time together.  

I guess that's about it for now.  I will probably try to squeeze in some relaxation time Sunday at some point....I hope everyone has an amazing weekend! 

Apple

Sunday....

I kind of left yesterday's entry on a "To be continued...." note.  I guess I need to write about what happened on Sunday.  Don't start jumping up and down just yet.....It wasn't too exciting.

Sunday definitely wasn't as exciting as bacon. 

I got up early again on my fucking day off and went back to the track with Jade.  If I didn't, I would be as big as a damn elephant.  What can I say, food is tasty!  (Hence the bacon reference)  Yep, hand was still swollen.  Jade threatened me and let me know that if it wasn't better by Monday, I needed to go to the doctor.  Yes ma'am! 

Got back home from torture exercising and started looking through the yard sale stuff that we rescued from the shed.  I had Dazzle and Neon helping me and we got through it pretty fast.  We sorted, priced and organized till I thought we had most of it under control.  Then I was standing there in the office looking around at the situation (which very much looked like a hoarder had come to visit) when I realized that we should just move the whole operation to the front yard.  Might as well if it's all ready to go and just sitting there.  Right?  WRONG.  We go outside (and one of my dear old friends came over just in time to help, YAY!) and we sat there for a couple of hours and I think two people stopped, one just to ask me if we had a broken lawnmower he could buy (WTF).  I guess no one in our area does yard sales on Sundays.  

I even put signs on the mailbox!! 

The end result:  We didn't make one damn dollar.  LOL.  That's OK, my friend helped me move everything back inside to the office and that is where the shit sits right now.  It kills me to walk past my office all covered in too small kids clothes, discarded adult clothes, stuffed animals and kiddy dishes but I know it's only temporary because this weekend coming up, we're going to take the whole operation right back outside.  If we don't sell it all, it's going straight into the truck and down the road to Goodwill.  It will never see the inside of my shed or house again!  I'm really good at getting rid of STUFF that we don't need.  

When you type "very clean house" into Google Images, this is what you get.  LOL  We're not quite the large family as the Full House folks were but I do put them to work and they hate it just as much.  :)  I mean, who the hell wants to live in a dirty cluster-fuck of a house?

It was time to rest for a few minutes....I don't get to do too much of that these days...Then I called Jade and told her that my friend and I were on our way to pick her up because she was going to the dumpster with us.  (She loves me but also knows what a bossy bitch I am) Supa absolutely forbade me from going to the dumpster this week (if ever again) since we drove by there on Saturday and there were cops there.  COPS?  At our dumpster?  Really?  He asked me if I remembered the lady on the news a few weeks ago that got arrested stealing coupons and I said "Yes" very quietly because I don't give a damn!  I want my free coupons!  So, we waited until later in the day (we usually go in the morning) and we took my friend with us in case we needed to create a diversion.  

3 heads are better than one right?  No cops would fuck with this!

We got in, we got out and both Jade and I got around 60 coupon inserts for free!  WOOT WOOT!  Major WIN!  After that scary rendezvous, my friend decided it was time to head home.  (I bet friend was surprised that I live on the edge of danger so much)

After that I put on my PJ's and hung out with the kids and Nearly Perfect for a couple of hours.  She taught me how to cut a cantaloupe properly and we cut up some chicken together...Really, she watched me touch the slimy shit while she gave instructions.  LOL...I don't blame her, I hate touching raw chicken!!!  She refused to stay for dinner which is probably because she is scared of my cooking....I don't blame her really.  I did pull off something pretty good.  It was like macaroni and Velveeta cheese and broccoli in the same skillet...No box mix but it took forever and when the noodles were done, the broccoli was still kinda crunchy.  That's OK.  Dazzle and Neon said it was delicious and I thought it was OKAY.  Supa could have owned it but I did my best.  The kids liked it enough to take the leftovers to school in their lunch boxes the next day...or were they just being nice?  HA!  

I promise, it looked a whole hell of a lot better than this SLOP!  WTF is that?!

That pretty much concludes my Sunday.  Supa finally got off of work at 8pm so I did get to see him for a little while before I had to go to bed.  We watched something called "The World's Shortest Man" together while he ate his dinner.  (He thought the broccoli was fine!  HAHA, I'm pretty sure he was being nice so he wouldn't get beat by his wife) 

On a totally different subject, let me just lay down for you what I dreamt last night.  Oh SHIT.  Today is the 14th day since we have smoked a cigarette.  Truly a huge accomplishment for us.  Last night I dreamt that Jade, Lolly and I went to the gas station to get a drink (WTF) and we each bought a pack of cigarettes instead.  Lolly got her usual Marlboro Lights, Jade her off brand menthol whatever and me....Marlboro Light 100's, which isn't what I smoked when I quit but I would have if I could have paid $6.00 a pack for them.  I guess I get to buy the good cigarettes since it's my dream.


And I would now like to enter into evidence, THE FUCKING DEVIL.

 Anyhow, I look at Jade at the counter of the gas station and I say, "Hey, what the fuck are we doing?"  She doesn't even answer me!  She just shrugs and buys her cancer sticks.  We all go back to my house and sit on my front porch apparently waiting for Supa to come home.  I kept looking down the road in the direction he would be traveling...and the kids were nowhere to be seen (thank God, that would have turned a bad dream into a nightmare).  What did we do while we waited for Supa you wonder???  We smoked ALL of our cigarettes.  Every single damn one.  One cig right after another.  When Supa got home and saw us smoking he was like "HEY, what the fuck are y'all doing??"  and that is when I woke up, clutching my chest like I was having a fucking heart attack and sweating like a pig.  Maybe, just maybe, that was the last of the nicotine leaving my body?  Or maybe that was God playing with me and reminding me that I never want to be like that again.  Who knows but I'm glad I don't smoke anymore and I would really like the bad dream to GO AWAY!  

I would rather dream that I was "Carrie style" covered in blood then to dream I smoked. 
Trust, at this point, that would be better.

Sweet dreams folks!  I'll talk 'atcha later!!

I Love My Weekends!

Damnit, I hate Monday's but I love my weekends!  This weekend was great and I'm on DAY #13 of being a non-smoker!  HOORAY!  It's great, it really is.  I'm enjoying it very much.

I'm saying, this works people.  It really works!  I wouldn't say it has been "EASY" exactly but definitely way better then all the other times I tried to quit and failed miserably.

Friday after work I went home and made dinner for the kids...If I remember correctly, that means I heated up some leftovers.  LOL, the fridge was full of stuff that needed to get eaten.  Then Jade came over after she dropped her kids off at the skating rink and we hung out on the deck for awhile (we didn't die from not smoking like we imagined we might) and eventually we ended up at the kitchen table playing rummy.  That was where the real fun was at.  :)  I whooped her.  HEEHEE.  She left right before Supa got home and while I was waiting on him to walk through the door I made the mistake of watching The Karate Kid 2 in the horizontal position and I fell asleep.  Oops.  I couldn't help it!  I was TIRED.  He woke me up and we had a bowl of ice cream and then we went to bed.  Perfect!

It was just a little bowl of peanut butter ice cream.  SUPER YUM and perfect right before nite nite time. 

Saturday morning Supa and I both got up really early.  He went straight outside to cut the grass and make the yard pretty and I went with Jade to the track to get our exercise on.  We had a great time sweating our asses off and singing at the top of our lungs.  LOL.  I always feel so good about myself when we get done.  By the time we got home, Supa was ready to help me clean out our shed.  FUN FUN let me tell you.  I wasn't really looking forward to it at all. 

Our shed looks like a barn on the outside and a huge mess on the inside.  :)  Well, I guess it could be a whole lot worse.  There is a loft up above and plenty of storage space. 

Kinda looks like this except not with that awesome paint job and I think ours is a sun faded bluish grey color. 
You get the idea.

Anyhow, I have been wanting to clean out the shed so that we could walk around in there a little bit and find shit have a yard sale and get the extra fridge/freezer cleaned out and plugged in (Yes, yes, there is electricity out there, I'm not running extension cords across my yard like some trashy redneck) so I can store some extra food.  So, this past Saturday was the day for that.  All in all, it only took us about 1 1/2 hours and we found a lot of TRASH that just needed to get taken to the dump.  Dazzle and Neon helped out and we had a pretty fun time if you can imagine that.  Supa ultra cleaned out the fridge and reorganized the little bit of stuff that we kept and we thought we had a huge success.  UNTIL he plugged the fridge in and realized that it wasn't working.  FML.  Not a huge fail.  He took the damn thing apart and it just needs a new motor.  I called around town this morning and it's around $50.00.  Much cheaper then buying a new fridge.  He said he will fix it on his next day off for me (Thursday), what a good boy!!!  We hauled all the trash off to the dumpster and on our way back we even saw a midget trying to playing volleyball.  Wow, that was a sight.  (We're going to hell for laughing but that shit was funny looking!!)

It was way funnier than this....because it was in person and it was REAL.

After we recovered from that, we went home and took showers, ate some lunch and then took the kids shopping.  Neon needed a new jacket since his arms grew what appeared to be an entire foot since spring and I wanted to buy a big folding table for my yard sale.  Then we took the kids bowling again.  We were really smart this time and we bumper bowled.  LOL, perfect for the kids, pathetic for the adults.  Here are the scores from this week:

Game ONE:

Dazzle:  78
Neon:    84
Apple:   95
Supa:   104


We really did enjoy ourselves!!  Second weekend in a row we went bowling and had a blast both times!

Game TWO:
Dazzle:  106
Neon:    119
Apple:     70
Supa:    125

See, what had happened was....Something bit my right hand (the hand that I use for everything, including bowling) on Friday night while I was outside chillin' with Jade and when I woke up Saturday morning my hand was swollen to double the normal size.  I should have taken a picture.  It was so gross looking and it hurt like fucking hell.  I did everything that I just described above with this deformed hand even though Supa wasn't too happy about letting me.  When we went shopping I showed a pharmacist and he told me to take some Benadryl and if I had problems breathing to go straight to the ER.  No problem buddy.  Advice taken.  So, I was okay during the first game of bowling but on that last game, I was falling asleep from the damn Benadryl.  I didn't want to be a loser and bum the kids out so I was just chucking the ball down the alley and pretending to try my best.  Basically, bowling while sleepwalking (with a freaky looking hand).  I still had fun though!  I just wanted to explain the decline in my pristine bowling scores.  HEHE

<Insert really great picture of gross swollen hand here since I failed and forgot to take pictures>  LOSER!

After I had Supa slap me awake a little bit (ha, he wishes) we went to our favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner and ate ourselves stupid.  We had to request a wheelbarrow to get us to the van afterwards.  We got home and the stupid ass football game was on.  Well, Dazzle and I were definitely not interested in that so we let Neon watch the game on the big screen with his Daddy while Dazzle and I went in her room, laid in the bed and watched Up.  Two more Benadryl and a glass of water later, I was passed the fuck out!  I slept for 3 hours in my baby's bed. What a great Saturday!!!!  

This was me.  In my coma state.  Dazzle said she turned the big overhead light on and I didn't even move an inch.  She said at that point, she knew nothing was going to wake me up!

For those of you who have been wondering, no, I still haven't talked to Kitti or Ace since my last post.  They'll be fine.  I did text Ace on Sunday and wish her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY because that's what the bigger person does (says Supa).  I guess we shall see what happens...

It's time to go home now so I will follow up with Sunday's activities tomorrow if I have time......