The Jig Is Up

According to my calculations, (and trust, they have been wrong before) it has been about 2 1/2 weeks since I have spoken to Kitti or Ace at all.  (I know...Everyone that knows us is like REALLY are you SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!  Yes, really and seriously right now!!) 

Yep, I feel like too much time has been wasted wondering what is going on and I'm pretty sure now it's too late. 

Let me just start by stating the obvious:

#1:  I love Kitti and Ace.  Excuse me, WE love them both.  Supa, Dazzle, Neon, Jade, Lolly....everyone.  I have been friends with Kitti since 2002.  Almost 10 years!  Ace, well, going on 5 years I think.  To me, that friendship length is pretty significant.  It's not like we were just kinda friendly.  We were tight.  Coven remember?

I mean, we hadn't even had time to do weird shit like this together yet!

#2:  Being this tight, nothing should split us up.  It shouldn't matter.  Whatever dumb shit happened that people can't get over should be totally irrelevant.  How the hell are you friends with someone for 10 years and you talk to them several times every single day and then all of a sudden you don't?  It's like they died or just dropped off the face of the planet or something.  I'm so dumbfounded.  Okay, so assuming they are not dead and are still living on planet earth...WTF is going on?!   Is someone standing over them holding a gun to their heads telling them that if they contact me they will meet their maker??  I can't imagine that is what's going on but since it really doesn't make sense, what am I supposed to think?  If that is the case, please someone SOS for help or something!  I will send the bandwagon to come and rescue them instantly!  (Woe is me, cause that doesn't seem possible.)

Is this the case?!  Do they need my help? 
I will kill a mother fucker if they are holding them captive and refusing to let them contact us! 

News flash:  I just want to reiterate that I seriously doubt they are being held captive.  This theory just isn't working for me.

#3:  Banishment.  Only one word needed.  Let's see what Google says the definition for banishment is...Hmmmmm...... 

1. a casting out from social or political society

2.  the state of being banished or ostracized (excluded from society by general consent)

Go ahead, talk to the flaming hand because you're been banished.

Okay, well now that we've cleared that up, I have in fact banished people from our family's lives before.  A few times in fact.  We've had issues with people in the past.  (We can talk about those wonderfully entertaining stories during another episode.)  I can't imagine HOW because when I decide that I would mutually like to be friends with people I sit them down and let them know to their face that I am a serious friend.  I am a grown up with grown up responsibilities and if they can't handle a grown up friendship not only with me but also with my family, (BECAUSE I'M A PACKAGE DEAL BIOTCH!) they need to take it somewhere else.  Down the road, away from us.  

No caption necessary!!

I don't have time for childish bullshit.  I have other friends who would love some extra special alone time with me.  I don't know if people don't take me seriously or what the problem may be but I'm not playin'.  I literally have no time to waste on people who are not committed to being a real friend and who cannot realize that it takes a great deal of effort.  Marriage isn't easy and neither is true friendship.  It's a great give and take.  It cannot be one sided.  And so on - blah blah.  I could talk about what makes a great friend all day long.  That's not the point.  The point is, if you can't be a great friend and put in the time and effort that it requires, tell me at the beginning so my time and your time will not be wasted.  

Do what Carl Thomas says!!  Just talk about it.  If you can't handle it, let me know!!  I am a big girl and I CAN TAKE IT! 

So my question now...My next theory is......I MYSELF have been banished!  They just don't like me anymore! 

My breath stinks? (sometimes)

I'm a bitch?  (usually)

I am full of drama and craziness? (who isn't part of the time?)

I mean, the list of reasons why someone might all of a sudden decide that they don't like me could be never ending!!  The part that kills me is what did Jade do?  Her breath is usually always minty fresh, she's hardly ever a bitch and her drama is usually kept pretty quiet.....Hmmmmm...Another dead end.  

Now I'm really lost and confused.  Where do I go from here?

So, to finish off this entry that seems to be full of gloom and doom....The end result?  Well, I think the only result I can see is that we're done.  The coven as we know it is over.  From 5 down to 3.  The friendship dead.  (UNLESS they really are being held captive somewhere and therefore, all of these words and the last 2 1/2 weeks were for nothing.  I fucking wish)

We're officially breaking up.  It's just like a relationship with a boy that went bad.  I need you to return my house keys and get my cardboard box of belongings together so we can trade our material stuff back to where it belongs.  Sad isn't it.  I seriously think so. 


I like the lop sided sad face because hell, no one is perfect.

I would like to leave you with these parting words:

***I KNOW THAT YOU'RE READING THIS KITTI.  I KNOW THAT YOU'RE CHECKING UP ON ME.  IF YOU TRY TO SAY YOU'RE NOT, I WON'T BELIEVE YOU ANYHOW AND EVEN THOUGH ACE DOESN'T HAVE THE INTERNET, YOU'RE GOING TO SHOW HER IF THERE IS SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SHOW.   I KNOW YOU ALL TOO WELL TO THINK ANYTHING DIFFERENT.***

Just making sure I have your full attention now because I only plan on saying this ONCE.

To My Dear Kitti:

We've been friends for a long, long time.  If you're tired of me, I can see that.  I'm insane, end of story.  I would really like to know what I did to offend you so badly so that I can better understand what happened.  I still have no clue what it was that pissed you off or hurt your feelings so badly that you would never want to talk to me again.  I'm so confused.  An email, text message, letter by mail or fax...Whatever you want...If you don't want to talk to me...That's OK too. 

Did I sleep with your man and I just can't remember? 

Did I take one of your cats hostage? 

Did I bitch slap your Mom? 

Maybe I did and I was just too drunk to remember (Not that I get that drunk but who the fuck knows?!  Crazier things have happened!) 

Whatever the issue is, I'm appalled that you haven't told me so that we could work it out.  AND if it's unworkable, just break up with me.  No excuse in the world would matter to me at this point.  If you don't want to TALK to me, just text me and tell me you don't like me anymore.  All this avoiding me and my family is for the BIRDS.  It's dumb and unrealistic.  Childish and retarded.  I'm really going to need some closure.  I can't be thinking about you for the rest of my life every single time I hear "that song", see "that movie" or read "that book series" (yet again for the millionth time).  I just can't.  It's totally not healthy for me. 

I have loved you long time and I will keep you safe in my heart where no one can be hurt any longer but I do hope that you contact me in some form.  I would very much appreciate it.  We are going to need to make arrangements to exchange stuff.   DVD's, house keys....Whatever else we have of each other's.....I'm sure I can get a middle man to help us out if you don't want to see me. 

Okay, I guess that's about it.  

Well, that was sorta awkward.....FML!

Last but never least....Ace.  Here are some parting words for you:

I am more hurt and pissed off at you then I have ever been at Kitti.  Ever. 

I fully, reasonably and rationally understand that you have been friends with Kitti since you were a baby.  I get that.  Really I do.  I was also under the impression that you were MY friend too.  Apparently I have been very misinformed.  Unless you are also mad at me for some reason also unknown to me.....YOU were NEVER my friend.  Something (and I tell you again I don't even know WHAT?!) made Kitti mad at me or upset or whatever and now YOU aren't talking to me or hanging out with me or anything.....

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Since when is that supposed to happen?  So, in other words, correct me if I'm wrong here....You are only friends with me and talking to me when Kitti is friends with me and talking to me.  Right?!  Because if I'm wrong and you're not being held captive....

WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!

I didn't have a problem with Kitti at the beginning of all this and I never had a problem with you either so.....Please, please, help me understand your thought process. 

You can't blame me.  Really you can't.  I assume that since you're not speaking with me and I didn't do anything to you, it's only on Kitti's behalf.  What a crock of shit.  Go ahead and side with your friend if you want to but in the process, lose another.  Makes a real shit ton of sense, let me tell you.  If Kitti and Jade had some kind of problem with each other, I sure as fuck wouldn't take sides.  I would tell them both to put on their big girl pants and get over it!  Maybe just maybe, I would HELP the situation instead of making it worse.  UNLESS I didn't want Jade and Kitti to be friends anymore.  In that case, I would do exactly what you're doing now. 

Wow.  No worries.  If that is what you were going for, you got it!


In all actuality, you didn't accomplish a damn thing.  All you did was alienate a whole group of friends.  Great job.

Okie Dokie!  I think I'm done now!  I could say SO much more but I can't!!  I'm tired of hearing my own fingers typing!  I feel so much better and now that I've said what I need to say, let's enjoy the damn weekend!!  It's going to be a good one! 

Apple