Monday? UGH!

Happy Monday, folks!  (HA, I don't fucking think so.)  I couldn't be more unhappy that it's Monday but it is so I'm rolling with it.  I usually never post on Monday's because I'm too tired and crabby but you're in for a special treat today.  A SUPER smart ass Monday post is in the making!  I will be away from my desk Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday this week for some cross department training (I couldn't care less what goes on in other departments but whatever).  They said I have to go so I'm going.  I'm dragging my feet, kicking and screaming but I'm going.  The only good part about all of it is that I'll be at our main branch and that is where Lolly and Nearly are!!  Thank god!  A reason to go to work for the next 3 days!  I'm pretty excited because we get to have lunch together and that always makes for a good time!

Well, FML or his life for that matter.  I guess the little birdie is having a shitty Monday with the rest of us.  When I was thinking of finding a "lunchtime" photo, this isn't exactly what came to mind.  Ha!  This is the perfect opportunity for me to remember that if I think I have it bad, I should focus on someone else who has it worse.  I'm such a complainer, especially on Monday's.

I did have a good weekend.  I stayed in my PJ's all day long on Saturday.  I only left my house once in the morning to run to the store for a couple of things we just couldn't live without.  Supa worked all day.  Dazzle and Neon stayed by my side through every second of the time I was laying on the couch.  LOL, they love days like that.  We caught up on our Gordon Ramsey obsession.  We watched the finale of Hell's Kitchen and the premier of the new season of Kitchen Nightmares.  When we were done drooling over our man we decided that we wanted to watch a movie to further prolong getting off of the couch so we popped in Tangled and it was SO good!!  I loved it!  It ranked right up there with Beauty and the Beast  and The Little Mermaid (for me at least).  It made me laugh, cry and wish I was a princess.  What else could you ask for??

Okay, first of all, I'm really glad that's not my slinky cause if it was I'd be PISSED.  Second of all, COME ON Google Images!  When I typed in Tangled, why did you give me a slinky?  REALLY?  DO BETTER!



Okay, that's much better Google Images.  I knew you could do it!

Anyhow, yes the movie was amazing.  Supa came home from work and cooked us dinner and my Saturday was complete.  :) 

Sunday I woke up to Supa cooking waffles for breakfast (real ones people, not toaster ones) and I just knew it was going to be a great day.  I put my contacts in and I was ready to face the rest of my weekend! 

Supa took me to the dumpster for coupons as usual.  That took about 5 minutes.  Then we went to Party City to look for some zombie stuff for Neon's 9 year old birthday!!  He is super excited about his zombie theme and we're going to do our best to make it memorable!  If you're invited and you don't show up dressed as a zombie, you might as well turn that shit around at the door  because it's definitely a requirement!  Get it together!  You're only 9 once and we're trying to make it the coolest party ever!  Oh, I can't wait!  We found some really cool stuff and had so much fun together in the process. 

Uh, oh Neon....I don't think you knew what you were getting yourself into when you asked THESE parents to throw you a zombie party.  Teehee!!

I won't tell just yet what we found for the party.  I will take lots of pictures at the party to post afterwards.  After that, Supa took me to Halloween Express.  It was also a fun trip full of tomfoolery.  The whole time we were gone I kept telling Supa to read me the packages because I couldn't see.  Everything was blurry and I thought it was just because my eyes seemed a little swollen.  He thought it was kinda weird but he read the packages anyway.  

Everything kinda looked like this except maybe even a tad worse....WTF?!


We ran to Arby's to get the kids sandwiches for lunch, took them back to the house and ate together.  Then we left the kids home one more time and ran to Walmart to look for birthday presents.  (Another thing I won't reveal right now.)  We went back home and the night pretty much went as usual, nothing overly special.

Supa and I watched X-Factor until we both fell asleep on the couch.  Supa woke me up and told me to go get in the bed which I obeyed with no problems.  He stayed up to let the dogs out and just after I fell asleep I get woken up to the BRIGHT overhead light being turned on and my husband cursing for all he was worth.  Apparently, SOMEONE got on our bed and decided that was a good place to take a piss.  WTF?!  EVERYONE is potty trained at our house now.  It took many years and I know that our newest addition isn't perfect and has accidents but ON OUR BED?!  Supa was UBER pissed off and he wasn't being very quiet about it.  After the sheets were stripped and we were finally in bed, well, the last time I peeked at the clock it was 1:35 am.  WAY, WAY past my bedtime!!!

This is about what Supa looked like when he noticed he just laid in dog pee.  Those dogs better heed this warning!

SO, I woke up this morning at 6:30 instead of 6:00.  Neon had to hurry up and get ready for school so I could take him in my moo moo.  (Not exactly what you want your mother to be seen in at the school...I wore my hoodie over it so I could look normal from the waist up)  I am usually showered and dressed for work by this time but there was no way I was going to be ready on time this morning.  I drove Neon the entire 1 mile to school and I swear, I COULD NOT SEE.  Vision still blurry as fuck, I got back home and got ready as fast as I could.  That was the fastest shower of my life.  I decided that I just couldn't stand my eyes anymore so I took both my contacts out and rinsed them to death.  I popped them back in and they seemed a little better. 

I went into the kitchen where Dazzle already had a bagel in the toaster for me.  She knew I was running really late and she was helping.  (sweet honey!)  I threw my shoes on, grabbed my lunch, checked to make sure the dogs had food and put cream cheese on my bagel.  I poured my milk and I set my breakfast on the table.  Dazzle said, "You have time to eat, Mama, if you hurry!"  so I sat my food down on the table and I clicked on the hanging light over the table.  RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT.....The fucking light bulb exploded in a million pieces.  It sounded like a gun shot and it freaked us both out!  We both squealed!  There sat my bagel with a nice fat chunk of light bulb in it.  It was everywhere.  On the floor, on the table, under the table.  Thankfully, it was not on us which is what I was really worried about.  We were standing right under it!

I guess this is what is what it looks like in slow motion.  What a fucking mess it makes!!!

I was so frustrated and pissed off at this point I was like FUCK IT.  I AM eating my bagel and drinking my milk.  I took the huge chunk of glass off of the bagel and took the first bite.  Well, I guess glass doesn't really play around because I could feel the glass grinding in my teeth.  YOWSA!!!  I spit that out real quick.  The milk and the bagel got sent down the sink and I gave up.  I did not get to eat breakfast on this particular day.  **SIGH**


Did I get to enjoy what looked like this??  Hells no I sure didn't.  Fuck fuck fuckity fuck DAMNIT! 

 I got Dazzle to school on time.  I got to work on time.  I don't know how since my vision was right back to blurry again.  I couldn't see a damn thing.  I got to work and I made it inside without any harm coming to me.  (AMAZING!)  I sat down at my desk and took one look at my computer and I was like I CAN NOT SEE!  I didn't know what I was going to do but I knew I couldn't sit through the entire day like that SO, I did a Winnie the Pooh.  "Think" "Think" "Think". 

FINALLY I thought, "What if my contacts are in the wrong eyes??".  I took them both out, set them on my desk, rinsed them off with Visine from my purse and popped them both in the opposite eye.  GUESS WHAT?!  I'm a fucking genius and I had them in the wrong eyes MOST OF THE WEEKEND.  What a loser.  For the next hour of work, I sat at my desk and heard, "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone" By: Johnny Nash playing over and over again in my head.  Thankfully the mystery was finally solved!

I'm pretty sure this is what I looked like at work this morning and for most of the day.  (Minus the coffee mug because anyone that knows me, knows that I don't drink that nasty shit!!!)

I can't believe I even got this entry accomplished today based on how my day started.  Like I said earlier, I will be MIA until Friday so hopefully I will have something interesting to report by then. 

Apple