Really? I Love When My Day Starts Like THIS!

I had a dream last night that Kitti's boyfriend (we'll call him "D" for now) text me.  I looked at my phone and it said "D______" and I was like WHAT?!  I wonder what he is texting me for??  SO, I looked at the text and it said, "Look, I don't know what is going on with you guys but this is dumb.  Can I come over and play with Supa??  I will even bring your stuff!"  LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!  "D" didn't come over and play with Supa very often when Kitti was part of the coven anyhow so I have no idea why I would have dreamt that but whatev.  It was funny!  I woke up at that exact moment that I was texting him back in my dream and I instinctively reached over and checked my phone (this was at 3:13 AM).  No text from "D".  Oh, wells!  LOL, WTF?!


Yeah, this is what I looked like...but is that a chicken??  WHAT??  I didn't realize that chickens slept in beds, had cell phones or text while they were sleeping.  Thanks again Google images!  You never let me down!!

Wow....Well, I woke up an hour later than usual this morning because Dazzle and Neon did not have school today.  WONDERFUL, right??!!  You would think....Until I went to let Copper out of his crate and into the living room (I'M NAKED MIND YOU) to go out the back door to do his morning business and I noticed a little brown dot on the carpet.  I went behind the couch to investigate and I found 15 nice little piles of THIS:

Yep, this is dog poop.  Just as you thought. 

And, I wouldn't have minded SO much if an elderly dog had an accident and it was a sort of solid poop like the poop above...but no, it was 15 little piles of watery, diarrhea, sludge poop.  FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!  Supa had already left for work so he couldn't help me out and the kids were still asleep in their beds (I would never let the kids clean up dog shit anyhow).  I looked around the room for the culprit...Our 11 year old toy chihuahua, Odie, who was snug as a bug in a rug on our couch under his favorite blankie......YOU BASTARD HOW DARE YOU!?!?!  You could have woke someone up in the middle of the night to tell them your tummy hurt and you wanted to go outside for a minute.  FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.  REALLY??!!?


This is pretty much what my face looked like when I realized what I had to clean up BEFORE getting ready for work.  I wasn't even fully awake and ready to face the world yet!!!  But, there was no way I was leaving all that dung behind the couch for one minute longer than I had to. 

So, I'm like FUCK IT!  I have to clean this shit (literally) and I have to hurry up because I had already slept in AND hit the snooze button one too many times.  Did I got put clothes on before I cleaned up the mess?  HELLS NO!  I was in a hurry remember??  I got the Resolve and the scrub brush and I got down to business right there, totally naked, and cleaned up the piles of poo.  FML, FML!!  Thank God no one was around with their camera because I was a naked, pissed off mess.  I got that shit cleaned up, cursed out Odie with all my being (like he gave a damn!!  He just looked at me like I was crazy and went right back to sleep.  UGH!) and then I went and threw myself into the shower at warp speed.  I was hoping this whole episode was just a bad dream!!  Nope, I was definitely awake. 

I ended up leaving the house later than usual, with no makeup on and no breakfast.  I was not a happy camper let me tell you.

By the time I left the house I was feeling like this!  It seemed pretty hopeless.

I did manage to get to work with 3 minutes to spare.  I like to be early so that felt like very late to me.  At least my bosses are cool and wouldn't have cared if I was late. 

Okay, now that we've covered that HILARIOUS (I didn't think so) story about my morning.....Moving right along....

This weekend is Neon's zombie birthday party and I am so ready!  Everyone is super excited and the house is decked out!  Jade is coming over tonight so that we can get the food ready and make some last minute adjustments.  Supa is taking Neon and Dazzle to see Real Steel at the movie theater Saturday after lunch so Jade and I can get the surprise decorations up without Neon knowing about it.  I want him to be as surprised and freaked out as possible. 

I will take tons of pictures and since we will be all dressed up as walking dead people, I should be able to post them here and still keep our identities hidden.  Be prepared to be SCARED!

Apple