Alarm Clock, You Can Kiss My Ass!

11:05 pm (last night) - Crawled into bed.  Set alarm clock for 6:55 am.

6:55 am - Me:  ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

7:41 am - "CHIRP CHIRP"  Supa texting me says:  "Good morning, baby.  You OK?"  (Because I usually text him every morning and this morning I was MIA.)

8:00 am - Me: running out the door and leaping into the truck in a panic, because once I wake up that way....I feel like that all day long.  

Yee Haw!  You smart asses try to find a cool picture for "Hurry up".  You won't find one.

FML.  I'm still sitting at my desk shaking in a panic because of my FUCKING ALARM CLOCK!  Really?   

Yep, this is how I felt this morning.  Damn me all to hell!!


 I have no idea what happened.  I know I set it.  I really did.  I haven't overslept in so long...I was in love with my alarm clock up until this morning.  Let me tell you.  I didn't have much time to "get ready" this morning like I usually do. 




Yeah, none of this shit to spare today.  Why must it fly by so fast?!

I ran in the living room (butt naked) cause hot people sleep naked, duh because that is the first thing I thought of to do.  Dazzle was asleep on the couch with one 4 lb. Chihuahua on her (she said she couldn't sleep so she crawled on the couch and passed out...that's not normal) and I woke her up like the house was on fire.  I tasked her with taking the puppy outside as I was running back to my room before I peed on the floor.  (Yep, still naked) 
I threw myself on the toilet and peed as fast as I could nope, I didn't even wipe, drip dry bitches. I didn't get to take my usual morning poop which really chapped my ass because I shit every single morning.  But that takes TIME.  Today, time was not something I had to play around with today.

Nope, didn't get to even attempt it.

I ran to the sink, brushed my teeth, ran to the closet, threw on whatever I could get away with wearing to work, ran my fingers through my hair and ran back into the living room.  Dazzle made me breakfast while I got my crap together.  I swallowed my breakfast whole, kissed the kids and pups and ran out the door.  I made it to work.  Smelling like sweaty, non-showering ass.  AND to top it all off I have cum crotch today.  Yep, you heard me right.  For those of you who don't know what cum crotch is...well, it's when you have sex the night before and you don't get to shower and wash all the bodily fluids out of your crotch.  SO, sweaty, non-showering, ass smelling, cum crotch Apple will just be keeping to herself today.  I'm also very bloated feeling because of that morning poop that I mentioned earlier.  Yep, still haven't taken it.  YUCK!  And once again,  FML.