SPECIAL EDITION: INTERNET NINJA MEETS PAUSE NINJA

Kitti is our resident Internet Ninja.  I'm sure you want to know what the hell that is....

INTERNET NINJA:
Definition:  A person who can find anything on the internet, on command, usually in around 20 seconds or less.

Kitti, this could be one of your family members....

Kitti has been our hard working ninja for quite some time now.  She never fails us.  She can find anything on any device that has the internet.  You wanna know what that funny video was that you watched the other day and you can't remember what you typed into Youtube...just look at Kitti and think about the video for a second and she will find it for you.  AMAZING!  Can't remember what that song was called that you heard 5 seconds of on the radio and decided you HAD TO HAVE IT, just hum for Kitti and you'll have the name of the song and artist usually immediately cause she's really good at music too so she might actually know off the top of her head without even using her ninja skills. 


It's about this fucking amazing...I kid you not!  You should see this crazy bitch in action!

Awhile back we realized that Ace has supernatural powers also.  She is our resident Pause Ninja.

PAUSE NINJA:

Definition:  A person that can pause the TV at such a time where the subject on the TV looks crazy, ridiculous, hilarious or for other humorous purpose.  The person must then capture the picture by camera or camera phone and forward on to others.

Not the same type of ninja but just as worthy and really really cute I must add!  

Ace has been capturing priceless Pause Ninja photos for some time now.  We have had them forwarded to our cell phones, email inboxes and just shown in person and we can't get enough of them!!  She has some kind of insane, psychotic ability to fuck that TV right in the ass and make whoever is on it look like a complete idiot or look absolutely amazing.  Just depends on her mood I guess.  The funny part is, she doesn't even TRY!  She just pauses for normal human pause reasons.....

The "I need a snack" pause totally could have resulted in this:



HOLY FUCK!!!  WHERE DID ALL THE WRINKLES COME FROM ON THAT FACE?!  If he's not careful, his eyebrows are going to fly right off that forehead!

 Or how about the "I need to pee" pause:


OMG, either he smelled something extremely stank at that exact moment or....WTF.

 Or even the "Time to smoke a cigarette" pause:


Hold the damn phone, IS HE FLYING???!!!  How did she do that?!  Where are his legs????!!!!

SO, I decided to try to get in on the fun.  If she can do it, I can do it too right?!  Well, we'll see what you think...

Here is my best impression of our Pause Ninja:  (Please keep in mind, I am not the ninja that Ace is by any means)

The "I'm at work and the phone is ringing" pause:


You want me to stick something in that pie hole or is that just for our viewing pleasure?

The "Yep, I'm still at work and actually have to pause my show to do some actual work" pause:


The whole idea that this picture represents makes me so happy.  There are no words.  I can't even explain this one.

The "I'm not the Pause Ninja of the group so I have to practice at random" pause results in this:


If this chick is really beautiful when the show is playing, how did she end up looking like a fucking monkey when it got paused?  I just don't understand.

Or how about the "The crack of my ass itches so I need a pause for that" pause:


STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT WITH YOUR SCARY HUGE EYES!!!  Everyone has to scratch the crack of their ass from time to time!  EVERYONE!

And last but not least the "Can I get one more snack" pause:


I can't even remember what I was watching when I paused this.  Who the hell is this bitch?  Nice face, lady.

I know that Ace will appreciate my efforts.  Even if I'm never going to be the "natural" Ninja that she is.  I hope that the Pause Ninja lives on for a very long time cause the shit sure is funny!!

I was trying to find a kudos picture for Ace but this came up instead so I decided to just roll with it.  What can I say?  It's Friday!  JUST ROLL WITH IT!



Cause we're homies like that!  :)