These are.....Animals??

For some reason, I'll feeling very bloggy today.  I decided that if I want to post twice in one day, then I will post twice in one fucking day.  Who wants to tell me that I can't?!  ANYHOW......This blog post is going to be devoted entirely to animals that some people have never heard of and I think are cool.  I've also had a few suggestions for this post so....let's get right to it. 

You've got your regular old "run of the mill" type animals:


That's a nice looking dog until he eats your couch and shits all over your floor

A sweet little cat type animal: 


Yeah, it's cute now until it pisses in your bed and pukes on your pillow

And more of a zoo animal, the polar bear:

I love you, polar bear...you're so cute...until he decides to rip your fucking face off because you know he can!

But this is Apple talking here...this post is not about these nice, sweet animals.  Nope.  It sure isn't.  It's about freaky animals that we never get to see.  I hope you're ready!


FREAKY ANIMAL SPECIMEN #1:  Please say hello to the SLOW LORIS!! 

One of the cutest weird animals I have ever seen.  Kitti showed us this a while back and I have to post a video so you can see it move.  Sweetest strange thing ever!!

And maybe just one more cute video to make sure that you want to run out and buy one.....heehee

I love you slow loris and one day I will convince Supa that we must have one of your kind!  If you're interested in what a slow loris really is or how you can own one, Google it.  I don't have time to write the blog and do the fucking research!

FREAKY ANIMAL SPECIMEN #2:
The scariest shit I have ever seen the CAMEL SPIDER:


Holy hide me.  I am very very afraid!!

Here's one more picture so you can see how big it is....


Personally, I like my spiders to be a lot smaller than my cigarette pack.  HOLY SHIT PEOPLE!

Here's what I know about it:  If you see it, fucking run.  If you get the chance before you leave running like your junk is in danger  light it on fire.  If you get bit by it....Call your Mom and tell her that you loved her and she did a great job raising you cause you are probably gonna die.  FML, I hope I go my entire life without ever seeing one of these in person.

NEXT ANIMAL PLEASE!


FREAKY ANIMAL SPECIMEN #3:
One of Ace's favorite animals (also suggested by Kitti): The Okapi:

What is this?  How the fuck am I supposed to know??

It looks like a horse....Mixed with a zebra...mixed with a tiny shrunken head.  And also kinda mixed with a giraffe!  WEIRD!  But also very soft and cute looking. 
Let's see if I can find a video of this one......

Okay, here is a video of a baby one.  Holy crap it's cute!!

I'm still not sure exactly what it is but I like it.

FREAKY ANIMAL SPECIMEN #4: 

Like #2, this one is pretty scary. (Thanks again for the suggestions Kitti!)   Meet the AYE AYE:

FML!  I don't know what this one is either but I guarantee it is a real animal and it looks like it belongs in the "monster" family.  I mean, this is just creepy!!  Imagine getting up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water from the bathroom and this is what you find.  CALL 911!  SCREAM!  The neighbors will not help you and if you have a husband/wife or a roommate they won't help you either!  They will run you the fuck over to get away!!  I promise!  I would!  HA!

Just in case you weren't freaked out enough here is another photo...and you mean to tell me someone held this thing for the picture?  OH MY GEESH!



This video is pretty cool.  It doesn't look any cuter but at least it's a peek into what it really is. 

FREAKY ANIMAL SPECIMEN #5:

Kitti was on a roll today...this is her new favorite animal right now: 

Hello Mr. Emperor Tamarin:

Awwww!  Look at that cute face!!  It's like monkey meets moustache!  This guy I like. 



The baby even has a baby moustache!!

Then he opens his mouth and you're like "Where did Mr. Cute moustache go??"


I swear, I will never make fun of your moustache again!  Promise!!

AND last but never least:

FREAKY ANIMAL SPECIMEN #6:

Kitti suggested this one too...What can I say, her suggestions ROCK and she's really great at finding the freaky shit, hence my last post...internet ninja....The Naked Mole Rat:



It almost looks like a penis with legs and eye balls!!!  ALMOST.

Just one more thing I would prefer to never see in person.  Really?!  I mean, normal rats are bad enough..now we have naked penis mole rats?!


HI, my name is Marvin and I love fat chicks in spandex.  The more camel toe the better! 

Marvin you can kiss my ass!  I don't want anything that you have to offer! 

Well, that's all folks!  I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed making it.  I'd like to give a very special shout out to Kitti for all her help and suggestions.  Also, thanks to all my friends who love weird animals!!  XOOX